2 Things You Have for More Love in Relationships

Stress Solutions for the Soul 30-Day Wellness/Excellence Program




Have you ever had good intentions for good communication with the one you love sabotaged by poor delivery? Have you ever walked away from a conversation frustrated because you felt the person you were talking with did not understand you?



The highest frequency of collaborative communication occurs through love; humility; truth and vulnerability along with supportive body language and intonation. When you communicate with body language and intonation that contradict what you are trying to communicate to your loved one you sink your own ship.


You are wired for love. The other day I was watching a woman who had lost her child tearfully tell her story on TV, I wept for her situation even though I have never personally lost a child. When working with clients one on one I will be able to read an emotion around a situation they are describing before they verbally share how they felt about it. We are created with an innate ability for empathy and compassion down to our neurology.


We actually are biologically wired for empathetic responses along with the ability to read and respond to other people’s emotions. Mirror neurons were discovered in the 1990s by Neuroscientist Giacomo Rizzzolatti, MD, they imitate the actions and emotions of other people. They are brilliantly designed to help us empathize and understand along with learning.   This is why we imitate positive or negative emotions that we ourselves observe in other people. Basically we have the ability to evoke an emotional response in other people positive or negative.


This is a powerful insight worth our attention in that it reminds us of our ability to evoke feelings and emotions in those around us. Your attitude will either create positive connection with those in your circle of influence or negate it and the choice is yours. How you choose to show up emotionally in a relationship literally impacts the connection you will experience…positive or negative. In NLP they refer to this as eliciting states of behavior, studies reveal that a positive emotional expression in relationships can lift negative energy put off by another human being.


Intonation and body language make up the archway through which loving communication flows from one person to another…or not.  Your attitude is your closest friend or worst enemy and you get to choose it. Same holds true for your ability to utilize our God given delivery system for loving communication: intonation and body language. Approximately 93% of your ability to communicate with another human being is nonverbal, made up of body language, sighs, intonation and pauses. It’s not what you say it’s how you say it….holds a lot of truth as does the popular reminder to public speakers: people will remember how you make them feel over the words you speak. We can either motivate or tear down depending on the body language and intonation we use when delivering our message.


Kindness and love make up the archway through which our messages are communicated effectively which ultimately supports feelings of safety & connection with people we care about. Practice this week matching your words with your intonation and body language for more loving communication in the relationships you care about. You are gate keeper when it comes to your choice of response to people around you. Love evokes more love, kindness evokes more kindness. Science backs this up. Offer loving communication utilizing your words, intonation and body language because it aligns with the person you are committed to being, not because you will always experience loving responses from those around you. Be an agent of change knowing that your choice for love lifts up those around you. Love wins.


Support Resources:

How to ReConnect in the Midst of DisConnect CD Click Here

Cultivate Healthy Relationships 30 Day, 3 Minute a Day Program Click Here


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