Share

The disease to please comes from farming out your sense of identity into the acts of service you do for others. Serving others in this world is a wonderful experience with many emotional and physiological benefits, but you’re trapped when your sense of who you are is directly linked to what you do for others. You have given your power away to something or someone outside of you; this leaves you vulnerable to emotional instability. The disease to please is often accom­panied by this statement: “Who would I be if I was unable to please those around me?” Perfectionism also walks hand-in-hand with the disease to please: “In order to love and accept myself, what I do for others must be done per­fectly; at least it must follow my inner criteria for perfection.” Often these beliefs are associated with the need to please in order to feel good about yourself: “I’m unseen, unheard, underap­preciated, not good enough, incapable, overlooked and invalidated.” A vicious cycle often accompanies this condition: “I please you; then I feel good about me. I don’t please you; then I don’t feel good about me.” How about exploring what needs to shift in terms of your perception … Continue reading

Share

CLICK BELOW AND LISTEN TO THE REPLAY OF THE RECENT 15 GRAB & GO STRESS SOLUTION CALL =>               Shake it Off Your ability to shake things off, experience less stress and show up with confidence, is in direct proportion to the systems you have in place daily that support inner peace and purpose.   Story: A hose with 1 leak diminishes the force by which it comes out and waters the flowers.   What are your energy leaks? Understand the leaks that drain your emotional bandwidth to be able to handle life successfully.   Don’t allow the opinions of other people to rob your sense of worth and capability. Release the negative loop that puts things above people and pushes you out of self-care systems that support your health and optimal wellness. Unbridled ambition, the need to own, control and possess along with the need to know why things happen as they do and/or how things will turn out result in energy leaks. Do what you do and forget about it. Do your best and move on…no one who puts their hand to the plow and looks back is worthy of the space … Continue reading

Share

Have you ever stayed awake at night, your mind churning around one of the following two questions? or perhaps both? These are 2 questions that block forward progress in life. 1. Why did things happen as they did? 2. How is this situation going to turn out? The need to know why things happen as they do and the need to know how things will turn out bump us out of the expansive space within our interior castle that provides inner peace as well as specific guidance for the next step forward. As Eckhart Tolle says so brilliantly states: “No moment of life has ever occurred outside the present moment.” Rumi states this beautifully as he reminds us that past and future veil God from our site. We are the gatekeepers of our response to life, which shines the light eye to eye with our belief systems along with motives behind why we do what we do.  We come into this world with a set point, basically our personality which naturally  wanders around in two conclusions, perhaps that takes up 10 % of our interior world: Life is for me or life is against me. Then you have your circumstances … Continue reading

Share

  In less than two years I experienced a divorce, a double mastectomy, 12 surgeries, 16 rounds of chemo, one year of Herceptin® infusions, six weeks of daily radiation and a blood staph infec­tion. I have no feelings of victimization in any of this because it truly led to an amazing connection with all of humanity… we all have our “dark night of the soul” experiences and how we choose to respond to them makes ALL the difference in the outcome! When you flip your circumstance into an opportunity for learning and growth you expand your ability to dance in the rain. So what did I learn? I’m not my breasts. I’m not my hair. When I connect to my breath, I connect to the present moment and when I am present the grace I need to handle ANY situation shows up every time. At any moment I can choose to connect to inner peace. I learned how to be a fasci­nated, curious human being vs. one who is imprisoned by assumptions and attachments. Victimization keeps you in a state of emotional paralysis. Asking “how” questions vs. “why” questions leads to creative solutions. I cannot be grateful and depressed at … Continue reading

Share

As I was doing an examination of consciousness over my time life concerning this topic a particular scene popped up: Knowing that I come from a long line of fly-fisher people, I wanted to impress my family members.  I went fly fishing alone and I caught one very small rainbow trout. As I walked home, I pondered the situation and by the time I opened my mouth it had grown to 20 lbs.  When questioned, I backed up my lie for greatness each time. Have you ever lied for greatness?  I woke up thinking how many times I have done this in my life: Lied for Greatness. As human beings, we lie or distort the truth because we are afraid: afraid of failure or success; that we don’t measure up; that we are not enough just as we are; fear of what others will think or say if we speak the truth; fear of not getting what we feel we need in order to completely love and accept ourselves and/or feel accomplished and successful or simply afraid that we won’t get our desired outcome. Have you ever made a statement that you know is false yet you find the words … Continue reading

Share

  The Following Tip is from my Recent Best Seller:  5 Minutes to Stress Relief…How to Release Fear, Worry and Doubt Instantly!   Behind the scenes of stress 2 Things that fuel phantom stress. “What am I afraid of?” Behind every experience of anger is a fear. The next time you feel angry, ask yourself, “What if I fail?” Know that your definition of failure flows directly from your belief system (as explored in Chapter 3, “Messages We Get Growing Up”). Failure is simply a label we place on a situation we have given power over to when it comes to our sense of worth, value and capability. We label something as a failure when an undesirable outcome occurs. What if we could resurrect our kindergarten perspective towards life? Everything is an invitation for learning and growth an opportunity to override fear with confidence. What would you dare to do in life if you knew you could not fail?
~ Unknown “What will other people think?” When we worry about what other people will think, we end up becoming our own publicist and exhaust ourselves every day protecting our reputation. We stress out doing daily damage control when we could be putting … Continue reading

Share

  The Drug of Approval: What is it? How do I recover?   Whenever you cling to anything in this life— whether it is a certain response from the world; a relationship; a material item or desired outcome—happiness dies and anxiety increases.   Since you were little you began to learn very quickly what to do and say to get a desired outcome or response, and your addiction to the drug of approval began. It is similar to a spoiled child, the more you give it, the more it wants. This addiction to approval is fed by your desire to be acknowledged, approved of, popular, validated and praised. It is as if you are saying, “Please tell me that I am good enough, appreciated, smart enough and worthy to be loved and accepted.”   It is a serpent of a drug and will sap you of any remembrance that you already have everything you truly need within your soul for happiness to occur; along with inner peace and joy. It makes a mockery out of you with the antics you play in life all for a momentary high of being approved of or acknowledged.   Being a visionary and motivated … Continue reading