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7  Stress Relief Points On Your Body: Have you ever heard the response when you are all worked up about something: “It’s All in Your Head.” Well, it’s true…the stress AND the relief are all in your head and the choice is yours.  God has wired us with built in stress relief points…you have been accessing all your life (there is one at the tip of your thumb…no wonder babies naturally gravitate toward sucking their thumb to sooth themselves).   Life happens and will continue to happen, it’s actually all objective until you label the situation as a threat.  As soon as you do you activate what my mentor Dr Bruce Lipton (The Wisdom of Your Cells) refers to as the HPA Axis (the adrenal system: fight/flight system).   Basically, You have two kinds of threats: internal threats and external threats.  Internal threats are inside the body: viruses, bacteria and in my case cancer cells and our immune system  deals with these attacks.   The adrenal system deals with the external threats: a physical attack or a perception that is threatening to you (worrying about the future…fear, doubt, worry).  The hypothalamus is the part of the central nervous system which actually interprets our perceptions of life. When … Continue reading

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  Unzip the Cloak of Fear & Anxiety Behind the Scenes of Stress   Stress is the power we give to outside circumstance to define our worth; value and what we believe we are capable of handling successfully. What is it that spins you? What thoughts linger in your mind that hold you back from risk taking and stepping out of your comfort zone?   Your ability to identify and adjust will remind your mind of what your soul always knows: You have the God given ability to overcome any perceived challenge if you choose to remember. Once upon a time you had an insatiable courageous desire to try new things and test the gifts and talents you have been blessed with…she can ride a bike, so can I… I simply need to learn it, which I CAN. What happened?   Your point of reference for self identity slowly started to spill out into the world around you, flipping you into a state of amnesia: “Oh that’s right, I forgot that I am not my struggle; opinions of other people; my fear or self-doubt.” Come with me on this…remember what you looked like; felt like; sounded like when love and confidence … Continue reading

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  I will never forget being knocked out in the WTF (World Tae Kwon Do Federation) Colorado State Championships from an illegal move that I did not see coming. How many times in your life have you been knocked out, metaphorically speaking, from an illegal move you did not see coming? What’s an illegal move in a relationship? Any move (word; thought; action; lack of action) that does not honor the highest good of all concerned.   Just as with any established sport, rules are created which maintain sportsman like conduct; supporting a healthy structure; bringing honor; safety and respect to the sport. So too, relationships require rules and regulations which support healthy connection.   Can you imagine having a referee jump in some of your discussions, blowing the whistle and throwing a yellow flag: “15 yard penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct!” How many times in the relationships you care about have you pulled an illegal move? Have you ever metaphorically grabbed the facemask of someone you care about? A word, behavior or action, which does not support healthy connection and contradicts your ultimate goal of healthy connection? I’m sure those penalized for face mask moves on the field didn’t intentionally … Continue reading

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Believe it or not you have been establishing anchors your entire life. An anchor is simply a stimulus that influence’s your state of mind. For example, no matter how many distractions are around my teenage daughter if her phone lights up she will stop what she is doing and look to see who is reaching out to her (respond to her phone). The stimulus is the phone buzzing, the state of mind is triggered to respond immediately. Remember Pavlov’s dogs? The bell was the neutral stimulus that when associated with food caused salivation (conditioned response) in the dog. Anchoring is simply associating a neutral stimulus with a desired state of mind.   Recently I went to Costa Rica and in the evenings I would watch spectacular sunsets. Feeling a deep sense of gratitude (emotion) and inner calm (emotion) I lightly tapped on my thymus (located three inches down below the U-shaped dip at the bottom of my neck) several times as I gave myself permission to lean into the positive emotions I wanted to anchor: sinking into what I felt like in that moment; taking in the colorful sites; listening to the sounds around me. Now that I am back … Continue reading

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Shake it Off   Everything in nature shakes it off…why don’t we?       Your ability to shake things off, experience less stress and show up with confidence, is in direct proportion to the systems you have in place daily that support inner peace and purpose.   Story: A hose with 1 leak diminishes the force by which it comes out and waters the flowers.   What are your energy leaks? Understand the leaks that drain your emotional bandwidth to be able to handle life successfully.   Don’t allow the opinions of other people to rob your sense of worth and capability. Pause and reflect on how much head space is taken up worrying about what other people think. The Drug of Approval robs your ability to occupy your space…you are not created to occupy other people’s space. Step away from needing the approval of those around you in order to show case your God given gifts and talents in this world. When you are envious and jealous it’s as if you are saying: YOU have something I need in order to feel enough; capable; valued; successful…what’s your vice? Release the negative loop that puts things above people and … Continue reading

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  Release your attempts at mind-reading when connecting with other people in your life. This happens when you believe you know what another person is thinking or feeling without direct communication from this person. I see you as I am not as you are so in order to see you for you it is essential that I step away from my perspectives. Mind reading wreaks havoc in relationships at work and at home. We take in information from our environment and then we filter the data through our assumptions and conclusions which fuel our beliefs and ultimately our actions. Harvard professor Chris Argyris refers to this process on The Ladder of Inference, a conclusion reached based on evidence and reasoning. The blocks in this process lie in missing pieces of vital information which when recovered provide a fuller model of reality.   Mind reading flows from our desire to connect yet too often creates disconnect because those essential pieces of information are missing. Mind reading is similar to the story of the 3 blind men describing a different part of an elephant. In and of themselves, the descriptions hold truth yet the totality of the situation (the entire elephant experience) is … Continue reading

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How to Make Decisions Easy: What do you value most in life? People experience a lot of stress over making everyday decisions. When you are trying to make a decision, you are focusing on your options: “Am I going to do this or that? Which one am I going to choose?” Your decision will become clear when you connect your options to your priorities and to what you value most in this life. It’s similar to the exercise when you lose something and start to look everywhere in a panic to find what you lost. When you slow down and retrace your steps, you usually find that item. Frustration and anxiety often come when the things you do in life conflict with your priorities. If family is a priority, and you continue to get business calls after hours, anxiety will build. Oftentimes, you just plow through the anxiety, you take the call, and your children quietly go upstairs. You miss the opportunity to connect and honor one of your priorities in life, resulting in frustration and anxiety. The key factor here is to become aware of your priorities. What is important to you in life? What do you value most? … Continue reading