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Nothing Thrives in a State of War: Pause for a moment and reflect on the above statement. Have you had an earth school class that has led you to this conclusion? When I faced my opponent in the ring, at The World Tae Kwon Do State Championship, I remember reflecting on this statement: Nothing thrives in a state of war. My goal in the ring was clear: to flip the opposing force coming against me into my favor by directing it in such a way so as to open up an opportunity to reach my goal (get a point or three). As soon as I lost the mental game my technique and skill-set went down with it: Nothing thrives in a state of war. As I have shared before, I ended up getting knocked out by an illegal hook kick to my head. When I came around just minutes before being counted out, rage and anger replaced clear, confident focus and I went after my opponent as if I was in a war zone. I ended up winning the silver medal, yet lost in the eyes of my 8th degree black belt trainer from Korea because I flipped into a … Continue reading

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  The American Psychological Association says stress costs corporations $300 billion a year in absences, medical costs, lost productivity, and turnover. 78% of American workers feel burned out and a third of Americans say they’re living with extreme stress. Nearly 80% of all doctor visits are stress-related and 43% of adults are sick because of stress.[1]   A landmark 20-year study conducted by the University of London concluded that unmanaged reactions to stress were a more dangerous risk factor for cancer and heart disease than either cigarette smoking or high cholesterol foods.[2] Get the picture? Workplace stress not only costs money; it costs lives. Stress is a silent killer and one of the top stressors that occur in the workplace: “Oh no, what if I lose my job? I stress out every time I have to speak, travel, complete a project by a deadline, or have a performance review.”   What if you know that no matter what situation you find yourself in at work two beliefs will direct your responses? “I am OK just as I am, and I am capable of handling any situation before me.” How would that shift your percep­tion? And the other little cure for … Continue reading

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  How to Flip Out of Pick Me Panic OK let’s be honest here…what is one thing that keeps spinning you out of inner peace and confidence as you walk through earth school? Is it not the fear of rejection, which is fueled by the desire for approval, acknowledgement and recognition? Or perhaps you might recognize it better in the following phrases:   The drug of approval The disease to please The fear of not measuring up The not enough syndrome The pick ME panic The “I will accept myself” when identity cyclone   All of the above have one thing in common: ATTACHMENT. An attachment is an emotional state of clinging due to the belief that without a specific outcome we cannot feel successful; confident and peaceful. Really? Have we come to the point of farming out our identity to outside circumstance to define our worth, value and capability to the point of rendering ourselves into a state of anxiety and stress?   Ask yourself the following questions the next time you do not get what you want and therefore spin your body into a stress storm:   What specifically do I want to remember to help me return … Continue reading

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7  Stress Relief Points On Your Body: Have you ever heard the response when you are all worked up about something: “It’s All in Your Head.” Well, it’s true…the stress AND the relief are all in your head and the choice is yours.  God has wired us with built in stress relief points…you have been accessing all your life (there is one at the tip of your thumb…no wonder babies naturally gravitate toward sucking their thumb to sooth themselves).   Life happens and will continue to happen, it’s actually all objective until you label the situation as a threat.  As soon as you do you activate what my mentor Dr Bruce Lipton (The Wisdom of Your Cells) refers to as the HPA Axis (the adrenal system: fight/flight system).   Basically, You have two kinds of threats: internal threats and external threats.  Internal threats are inside the body: viruses, bacteria and in my case cancer cells and our immune system  deals with these attacks.   The adrenal system deals with the external threats: a physical attack or a perception that is threatening to you (worrying about the future…fear, doubt, worry).  The hypothalamus is the part of the central nervous system which actually interprets our perceptions of life. When … Continue reading

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  Unzip the Cloak of Fear & Anxiety Behind the Scenes of Stress   Stress is the power we give to outside circumstance to define our worth; value and what we believe we are capable of handling successfully. What is it that spins you? What thoughts linger in your mind that hold you back from risk taking and stepping out of your comfort zone?   Your ability to identify and adjust will remind your mind of what your soul always knows: You have the God given ability to overcome any perceived challenge if you choose to remember. Once upon a time you had an insatiable courageous desire to try new things and test the gifts and talents you have been blessed with…she can ride a bike, so can I… I simply need to learn it, which I CAN. What happened?   Your point of reference for self identity slowly started to spill out into the world around you, flipping you into a state of amnesia: “Oh that’s right, I forgot that I am not my struggle; opinions of other people; my fear or self-doubt.” Come with me on this…remember what you looked like; felt like; sounded like when love and confidence … Continue reading

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  I will never forget being knocked out in the WTF (World Tae Kwon Do Federation) Colorado State Championships from an illegal move that I did not see coming. How many times in your life have you been knocked out, metaphorically speaking, from an illegal move you did not see coming? What’s an illegal move in a relationship? Any move (word; thought; action; lack of action) that does not honor the highest good of all concerned.   Just as with any established sport, rules are created which maintain sportsman like conduct; supporting a healthy structure; bringing honor; safety and respect to the sport. So too, relationships require rules and regulations which support healthy connection.   Can you imagine having a referee jump in some of your discussions, blowing the whistle and throwing a yellow flag: “15 yard penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct!” How many times in the relationships you care about have you pulled an illegal move? Have you ever metaphorically grabbed the facemask of someone you care about? A word, behavior or action, which does not support healthy connection and contradicts your ultimate goal of healthy connection? I’m sure those penalized for face mask moves on the field didn’t intentionally … Continue reading

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Believe it or not you have been establishing anchors your entire life. An anchor is simply a stimulus that influence’s your state of mind. For example, no matter how many distractions are around my teenage daughter if her phone lights up she will stop what she is doing and look to see who is reaching out to her (respond to her phone). The stimulus is the phone buzzing, the state of mind is triggered to respond immediately. Remember Pavlov’s dogs? The bell was the neutral stimulus that when associated with food caused salivation (conditioned response) in the dog. Anchoring is simply associating a neutral stimulus with a desired state of mind.   Recently I went to Costa Rica and in the evenings I would watch spectacular sunsets. Feeling a deep sense of gratitude (emotion) and inner calm (emotion) I lightly tapped on my thymus (located three inches down below the U-shaped dip at the bottom of my neck) several times as I gave myself permission to lean into the positive emotions I wanted to anchor: sinking into what I felt like in that moment; taking in the colorful sites; listening to the sounds around me. Now that I am back … Continue reading