Share

Fear or Love? The Choice is Yours and Makes All the Difference in the Outcomes You Experience.   Have you ever heard a discussion on love and fear? Too often we find ourselves standing at the crossroads of our emotional responses to those life “pop up” moments which take our breath away. Choose love over fear…really? Is that even possible when you find yourself in the lion’s den of life? Heart pounding; legs weak; hands shaking?   For me, my lion den experience with fear began with: “are you sitting down?” followed by information which I did not sign up for: advanced cancer diagnosis one week prior to my final divorce court date. Now, if I stepped back from the emotional primal spin that was taking place in my “earth suit” for a moment to breathe perhaps I would have been able to hunt and gather information on my time line of past difficult challenges that I had walked through, bringing levity to the situation yet before I took my next breath, fear jumped into the driver’s seat of my emotional response. So much so that I could barely walk. Reflecting on this experience, I am reminded of the movie … Continue reading

Share

      Have you ever had good intentions for good communication with the one you love sabotaged by poor delivery? Have you ever walked away from a conversation frustrated because you felt the person you were talking with did not understand you?     The highest frequency of collaborative communication occurs through love; humility; truth and vulnerability along with supportive body language and intonation. When you communicate with body language and intonation that contradict what you are trying to communicate to your loved one you sink your own ship.   You are wired for love. The other day I was watching a woman who had lost her child tearfully tell her story on TV, I wept for her situation even though I have never personally lost a child. When working with clients one on one I will be able to read an emotion around a situation they are describing before they verbally share how they felt about it. We are created with an innate ability for empathy and compassion down to our neurology.   We actually are biologically wired for empathetic responses along with the ability to read and respond to other people’s emotions. Mirror neurons were discovered in … Continue reading

Share

              Thinking about Thinking for Less Stress   Spirit * Mind * Emotions *Body   Learn => Reflect => Identify/Adjust => Integrate => Act   The world screams and God whispers. Left unchecked the mind will keep you going at 100% all day long. Remember, you are the landlord of the thoughts that take up residency in your mind. Unfortunately the majority of our tenants are literally trashing our interior castle. The mind is like a rudder on a boat, it guides your entire ship and presentation in life.   “The mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” Romans 8:6 What thoughts control your mind? Time? Talent? and Treasure? Take a moment for self-reflection on the following:   What percentage of your thoughts are consumed by:   Self-interest?   Self-glorification (The Fame Game)?   Self-gratification?   Worry that you will not get what you want or are putting your time & energy into?   Concern that others will take or get what you feel you deserve? Entitlement. Regret over past choices?   Anger fueled by being taken advantage of in the past?   Frustration over the need to be right? liked? or understood?   Fear that you will not have enough or … Continue reading

Share

  Knowledge occurs when one engages in a learning experience whether that be athletically;professionally; personally. When I was training for several years for my second degree black belt, my time was filled with learning skill sets and techniques in order to equip my ability to successfully perform in the ring, although the skills had value in and of themselves, the richest value came in the the boots on the ground experience which fueled wisdom. Knowledge (accumulated learning) is actually a vital piece in the puzzle of acquiring wisdom. Wisdom according to Merriam-Webster is knowledge gained by having many experiences in life, the natural ability to understand things that most people can’t understand which in my opinion occurs most efficaciously in the experiences we have on this earth journey.     When I went for a post grad two year program in education in my early 20s, the two years were packed with material designed to teach me the systems of effective teaching modalities. This accumulated learning had value in that it prepared me with the systems for effective delivery yet because I was just entering the field of education, the book knowledge was void of wisdom gained from experience. Currently … Continue reading

Share

  Let’s face it, we have an innate desire to be seen, acknowledged and recognized which all too often flips us out of inner confidence and throws us into a whirlwind of frustration and stress. Can you imagine waking up tomorrow morning without any head trash of distraction around the desire to be seen, acknowledged and recognized?   Clear focus leads to a clear response. If we desire to experience more inner calm and confidence we must first understand the root cause of what flips us out of that expansive God space in life. When Jesus was in the desert, the devil threw three temptations at Him which did not stick because He made the choice for God above them all: Power; Popularity and Possessions.   Not much has changed. We are constantly surrounded by shiny objects which contain within themselves a dark whole filled with self-gratification and self-glorification. An unmet desire in the area of power, popularity and possessions will flip a kind intention into an ugly serpent quicker than most desires which temp mankind. Stress and frustration take over the interior castle when the drawbridge is down; inviting those things things which can never fully satisfy our deepest … Continue reading

Share

3 Things to Avoid in 2016 for Less Stress   Blaming:   Any time you blame yourself or another person take a step back from the situation and ask yourself what are you refusing to take responsibility for…it may come down to taking responsibility for your own sense of inner peace, joy and happiness. Too often we look outside of us for that which we can only access within our interior castle. So the next time you blame something or someone for your feelings of frustration ask yourself: “what do I need to remember in order to release my need for a certain response from the world around me in order to feel good about myself.” Stress is the power we give to outside circumstance to define our worth, value and capability. Jesus offers us an awesome example of self examination as he posed a simple question to a mob of “blamers” when he said, “he who is without sin, cast the first stone.” This is earth school, when we pass the class to take responsibility for ourselves, including our ability to step away from the blame game and tune into creative solutions, we will experience less stress and more … Continue reading

Share

One of the definitions of the word “theme” involves creating an ambience or particular setting, perhaps around an idea, allowing a certain disposition, mood or even response to emerge to the front lines of your words, thoughts, deeds and actions.  What if you explored a “theme thought” for 2016? A thought to use as a touchstone theme moving out into the New Year? Clarity of focus leads to accuracy of response. Too often we fumble around with a few left over ideas from the previous year in an attempt to resurrect our New Years Resolutions using an old script that has yet to manifest in our lives.   Instead of making a to-do list for 2016, filled with old habits gone stale, what if you took some time to reflect on a theme for the New Year which aligns with the person you are committed to being in life? This idea came to me in a prayerful reflection which began with a simple request: “Dear God, what do you want me to do in 2016 and who do you want me to be while I am busy doing?” As quickly as I shot out the question an answer came in … Continue reading