How to Win the Fear or Love Spin

3 tips to deal with physical pain

Fear or Love? The Choice is Yours and Makes All the Difference in the Outcomes You Experience.


Have you ever heard a discussion on love and fear? Too often we find ourselves standing at the crossroads of our emotional responses to those life “pop up” moments which take our breath away. Choose love over fear…really? Is that even possible when you find yourself in the lion’s den of life? Heart pounding; legs weak; hands shaking?


For me, my lion den experience with fear began with: “are you sitting down?” followed by information which I did not sign up for: advanced cancer diagnosis one week prior to my final divorce court date. Now, if I stepped back from the emotional primal spin that was taking place in my “earth suit” for a moment to breathe perhaps I would have been able to hunt and gather information on my time line of past difficult challenges that I had walked through, bringing levity to the situation yet before I took my next breath, fear jumped into the driver’s seat of my emotional response. So much so that I could barely walk. Reflecting on this experience, I am reminded of the movie Ghost when Woopi Goldberg was talking to spirit’s in the room and one jumped into her body, all of the sudden she had completely different posture; intonation and body language. Fear does the same thing, it jumps into our perspectives and spills over into our entire countenance, flatlining any shred of  confidence associated with love.


Sound familiar? Perhaps it wasn’t the cancer card that flipped you out of internal emotional homeostasis, maybe it was the intonation of your manager at work which overtime has developed a fear around your job security or maybe fear jumps in the driver’s seat of your emotions when you look at your checking account and the stack of bills which keep growing. Relationships are a breading ground for the serpents of fear to override any attempt at leaning into the confidence of love.


Hanging on my wall next to my desk is a needle point picture with the following statement from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not easily angered it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Take a moment to dismantle the power associated with our choice for love over fear. This specific verse from the Bible, breaks it down. Clarity of focus leads to accuracy of response.


What if we were to look at situations in our life which could potential hold us captive to fearful responses from this perspective: everything in life is sent to make us fearless. What if in the midst of the fear funnel we could remember that we are the gate keepers of the thoughts which we give power to, to define what we believe we are capable of handling successfully? What if in the midst of high noticing around our body’s mini-possession with fear we could take back our remembrance of our God given ability to overcome and match our interior dialogue with that choice of belief? Perhaps it looks like this: “Even though I feel absolutely overwhelmed in this situation and incapable of coming up with a solution I am willing to breathe, step back and reconnect to my past victories. I am willing to trust that God is with me, that my future is secure, that I am secure in spite of the power I am giving to this specific situation.” Because fear shows up in your biology connect with your biology as quickly as possible, go to the source of expression. Shake it off, literally move your body to flip out of the freeze so that for a moment in time you have a gap between what is happening outside of you and your choice of response to it…here in lies your power to spin out of fear and lean back into love which believes all things are possible, endures all things with confidence that the rose blooms in the midst of the thorns; the rainbow appears in the storm.


Love wins every time.


Enjoy Your Gift of Life,




Inquiries for 1:1 Coaching or Organizational Training:


Support Resources to Explore to Help Anchor the Love Response:


Cultivate Healthy Relationships 30 Day, 3 Min a Day Journey with Lauren


CD: How to Re-Connect in the Midst of Disconnect


Quick EFT to Calm the Body in the Midst of the Spin



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