Emotions that Fuel Stress

Speaking

The Following Excerpt is Taken from Lauren’s International Best Selling Book NOW Available in Ebook: Click Here for More

Form your choices, form your life

 

When experiencing any stress in this life, it is beneficial to understand the beliefs you hold behind your stress. You form your choices by your thoughts; you form your life by your choices. It is also useful to explore the meaning behind the emotions and the words you use to describe the stress in your life.

 

Complete this sentence and write your response: “I feel stressed out when …”

 

What causes stress in your life?

  • Fear of failure?
  • Unmet expectations?
  • Fear of not doing a good job and therefore fear of judgment?
  • Fear that you will not be able to handle the situation?
  • Fear that you are not enough, just as you are?

 

What is stress? According to the dictionary, “stress” is a force that strains (e.g., creates a great demand on one’s emotions and resources) or deforms. You often give away the power to define whom you are to people, events, and circumstances in your life, thereby creating endless opportunities for stress.

 

Have you ever considered the possibility that you are complete, apart from any event or person in your life? How would that affect your daily stress level?

 

What emotions are behind your stress?

  • Fear?
  • Embarrassment?
  • Vulnerability?
  • Invalidation?
  • Anger?
  • Worry?
  • Doubt?
  • Guilt?
  • Shame?

 

Stress is just the icing on the cake. The cake is the main emotion behind the stress, often disguised by a physical ailment (e.g., back pain, headache, or neck pain). You hide your true emotions in the guise of physical pain, which is actually the physical expression of your emotional pain.

 

You often suppress your true emotions because you have grown up receiving these messages: “Don’t think. Don’t feel. Don’t talk.” Most emotional and physical problems are due to unresolved physical events that happened in your lifetime.

 

A “holograph” is a document written entirely in the handwriting of the person whose signature it bears. You take holographic pictures of the events in your life and then give those frozen pictures permission to define you.

 

All of these timeless holographs make up the matrix of your self-image. When one of your holographs is triggered (or downloaded), you explode and wonder, “Why did I overreact like that?” You are responding to the event at hand as if you were the age and emotional state when that holograph took place.

 

For example, you have a holograph from your childhood where your coach told you that you were uncoordinated and clumsy. Then, 20 years later as an adult, you are at a team-building event for work. You trip, a coworker laughingly jokes about your mishap, and you lose your temper. Your emotional response and anxiety are linked directly to that frozen moment from your past and not to the response of your coworker.

 

We have presented different ways to release stress in this book, so don’t stress out if the concept of holographs confuses you. It’s not necessary to understand the concept in order to release them.

 

If you take time to observe very young children, you will see that, by nature, they do not even know what stress is. Why? They do not have all of the disconnects and blocks in their body’s energy system that you have created throughout your lifetime (due to your past pain in life) in order to, from your perception, survive.

 

When an emotion comes up in young children, it simply comes out. They continue on their way, remaining acutely present to the events at hand as well as honoring and accepting whatever emotion comes up without judgments. They don’t try to analyze, interpret, or conclude as they experience life; they just experience life.

 

As we get older and receive negative feedback on certain emotions that we freely express as children, we begin to experience stress or pressure to withhold our authentic self for fear of judgment. As adults, we forget that life is about experiences.

 

As with life itself, your emotions are meant to be experienced, not defined. You have allowed others to define your emotional state as good or bad and acceptable or unacceptable, and you have built your sense of self-worth around other people’s opinions of you.

 

Stress comes when you deny yourself the experience of your authentic feelings for fear of judgment. When you reconnect with your feelings and emotional state without judgment, you free yourself to love and accept all that you are, just as you are, in spite of any circumstance in life.

 

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