The Disease to Please: Do You Have it?

The disease to please comes from farming out your sense of identity into the acts of service you do for others. Serving others in this world is a wonderful experience with many emotional and physiological benefits, but you’re trapped when your sense of who you are is directly linked to what you do for others. You have given your power away to something or someone outside of you; this leaves you vulnerable to emotional instability. The disease to please is often accom­panied by this statement: “Who would I be if I was unable to please those around me?”

Perfectionism also walks hand-in-hand with the disease to please: “In order to love and accept myself, what I do for others must be done per­fectly; at least it must follow my inner criteria for perfection.” Often these beliefs are associated with the need to please in order to feel good about yourself: “I’m unseen, unheard, underap­preciated, not good enough, incapable, overlooked and invalidated.”

A vicious cycle often accompanies this condition: “I please you; then I feel good about me. I don’t please you; then I don’t feel good about me.”

How about exploring what needs to shift in terms of your perception of you? Practice feeling good about yourself, with or without pleasing those around you. The power of living your life without attaching your sense of self to any experience outside of you is truly exhilarating!

Explore 1:1 Coaching with Lauren Click Here

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.