Is Your Need to Know Keeping You Up at Night?
Is your need to know how things will turn out or why things happen as they do keeping you up at night? You’re not alone. Particularly in the midst of our current cultural environment. As with any event that occurs outside of you, you get to choose how you want to respond. Like when I was diagnosed with advanced cancer one week prior to my final divorce court date with 3 young children. I had a choice to make, actually, many choices to make. The big one that haunted me each night was dying and leaving my children, there were nights I was sweating I was so scared. Even those moments offered me a choice point: to give fear more authority or the strength of God within me. I chose faith over fear as many times as I could get myself back from being mentally highjacked simply because it felt a lot better.
I Just Need to Know__________________, then I can or will be____________.
Fill in the blanks in the above statement. A few examples are:
- I just need to know how this will turn out then I can feelsecure.
- I just need to know when I will be able to get back to work then I can feelconfident.
- I just need to know I have the antibodies then I will be atpeace.
In today’s message, we are focused on making the connection between your need to know and your sense of safety and security.
We are going to focus on the inner game of keeping your peace and confidence in tact verses the outer game of knowing information in order to make wise decisions moving forward.
An example of your need to know certain information to make wise decisions in below:
- I just need to know if schools will open in the fall then I can plan for the future and guide my children and work schedules.
- I just need to know what’s considered essential and non-essential workforce then I can determine who comes into the office first and who works from home.
In the midst of uncertainty, it’s easy to give authority to your outer circumstances to define what YOU believe you are capable of handling successfully…what you believe you need in order to feel secure, confident and at peace. Worry and anxiety occur when you attach your sense of security, confidence and ability to maintain peace within to a desired outcome or situation.
What if you could take release that attachment?
Let’s take a closer look at these three desired states of being:
- Secure:To feel safe, stable and free from fear and anxiety.
- Confident:Feeling or showing certainty about something.
- At Peace:Freedom from disturbance, tranquility.
What would it take for you to maintain asecure, confident and peacefulinner game in the midst of this time of uncertainty?
What would that look like for you moving forward?
What behaviors would you want to change?
What would you want to remember from past times of uncertainty that could help you in the present moment?
InSherpa Executive Coachingwe have a tool called:Support Mountain.Clients reflect and record three areas of support moving forward as they climb their Leadership summit: Intrinsic, Extrinsic and Environmental. This tool ups your inner game for confidence in your support systems for success in life.
Who and/or what do you have for your intrinsic support systems during this time ofnot knowing? For example:
- My faith: my relationship with God helps me remember whose ultimately in charge here. I am secure, confident and at peace knowing that even though I don’t know, God does.
- Thought Life: Moving forward I choose to set my mind, rather than allowing my mindset to control my behavior. (Romans 12:1-2).
Today my husband and I were working outside and our neighbor stopped by to chat. We were discussing the importance of attitude and intentionally choosing it. He said something that is a great example of setting your mind:“I choose to be a leader during this time and focus on success. I’m going to have a successful year no matter what surrounds me.”
AnEFTopening statement that I used this week with a client was:
“Even though I have attached my sense of security to my need to know, I am willing to love and accept myself where I am at in this moment and I choose to explore feeling secure and confident whether I know everything I want to know or NOT now moving forward, easily and naturally.”
Take Action:
On Sunday evening, intentionally choose 3 verbs that describe the person you are committed to being throughout the week. A verb is an action word or a non-action word that describes a state of mind. For example:
- I choose to be grateful, kind and accepting
- I choose to do random acts of kindness, practice patience, and love people around me.
Look up the definition for each word you pick as this will help you remember your 3 words throughout your day.
Anchor your behavior associated with each word by wearing a bracelet that is easy to pass between your wrists. Each time you take action on one of your words, switch the bracelet. See how many times you can change it from wrist to wrist each day. Keep a tally.
Faith Based Coaching: Edge God In Podcast: Listen In:
I Just Need to Know How Things Will Turn Out
