How to Flip Out of Pick ME Panic

You are not your circumstance....unless you choose to be.


How to Flip Out of Pick Me Panic

OK let’s be honest here…what is one thing that keeps spinning you out of inner peace and confidence as you walk through earth school? Is it not the fear of rejection, which is fueled by the desire for approval, acknowledgement and recognition? Or perhaps you might recognize it better in the following phrases:


  • The drug of approval
  • The disease to please
  • The fear of not measuring up
  • The not enough syndrome
  • The pick ME panic
  • The “I will accept myself” when identity cyclone


All of the above have one thing in common: ATTACHMENT. An attachment is an emotional state of clinging due to the belief that without a specific outcome we cannot feel successful; confident and peaceful. Really? Have we come to the point of farming out our identity to outside circumstance to define our worth, value and capability to the point of rendering ourselves into a state of anxiety and stress?


Ask yourself the following questions the next time you do not get what you want and therefore spin your body into a stress storm:


  • What specifically do I want to remember to help me return to confidence and inner peace?
  • What do I want to do about this situation?
  • Did I forget that it’s not rejection; it’s simply direction?
  • What is the gift and the opportunity in this situation?
  • How specifically am I giving more authority to the outside circumstance than in my God given ability to handle this successfully?
  • So what, they picked someone else…what’s my next step in a positive direction?


Two serpents will quickly take over your mind when you have an exterior point of reference for your identity: envy and jealousy. Yes, I am blogging about these two little serpents again because they continue to trash our interior castle and we forget again and again that we are the landlords of our mind and have the ability to evict them. The question is why don’t we? Because comparison and competition have been added to our DNA over time: “I will be enough when and if”; the not-enoughness syndrome, which leads to sleepless nights and anxious days.


Bring your point of reference inside your castle, pull up the drawbridge and celebrate your unique signature in this world. No one does YOU as good as YOU, no need for comparisons. Each time you experience “Pick Me Panic” you have an attachment to something outside of yourself in order to know your worth and value. It’s ok to want something and go for it 100%. When attachment slithers in you render yourself very vulnerable to inner anxiety and self-doubt. I will often say, “go for what you want 100% and be attached to nothing but God.” Each time you compare yourself to another human being, even a human being that got the position you wanted, it is as if you are saying, “you have something I need in order to accept myself; feel successful or enough.” Of course it’s ok to feel disappointment when you do not get what you want, just don’t stay there as quickly as possible get back on the horse of life and take a positive action step forward.


I grew up out in Long Island, NY and went horse back riding almost everyday after school. One time I was racing with my sister in a huge open field and felt so powerful as my horse galloped through the grass. All of the sudden I was flat on my back and couldn’t breathe, the wind was knocked right out of me. My horse stood close by looking at me as he pulled up the grass with his teeth as if nothing happened.


How often have you found yourself in the saddle of life feeling confident, in the flow of your skill-sets and talent only to be thrown on the ground with the wind knocked out of you? It happens. The solution comes in your ability to get back up in the saddle as quickly as possible so that your fear doesn’t override your ability to ride confidently again. Get back up in the saddle ASAP so you connect with your skill-set and talent rather than the fall.


We have all been playing the “Pick me, pick me, pick me” game since kindergarten. The only difference now, as we are “adulting”, is that when we don’t get picked too often we flip into self-doubt and lack of confidence. Get back up on your horse and ride that field that you are destined to ride. Give more authority to your God given gifts and talents than to circumstance. It’s not rejection it’s simply direction. Remember, failure is simply a label you place on an undesirable outcome. What if every outcome holds a gift and an opportunity for you?


Help flip your mind into positivity. Check out Lauren’s Light/Sound Therapy Product: Levity; which boosts endorphins and serotonin 25% after each use.


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