Afraid to Fail? Stop it!
Afraid to fail? Stop it! If you want something to die what do you do? Starve it.
As you have heard me say before, fear is a big fat liar…it’s smoke and mirrors and will try to knock you out in the ring of life on a daily basis if you do not get a grip on the power you give to outside circumstances to define what YOU believe you are capable of handling successfully.
As you have heard me say before, fear is a big fat liar…it’s smoke and mirrors and will try to knock you out in the ring of life on a daily basis if you do not get a grip on the power you give to outside circumstances to define what YOU believe you are capable of handling successfully.
As you have heard me say before, fear is a big fat liar…it’s smoke and mirrors and will try to knock you out in the ring of life on a daily basis if you do not get a grip on the power you give to outside circumstances to define what YOU believe you are capable of handling successfully.
I am pretty confident, having had a personal encounter with stress and disease, that if I didn’t learn a mind skill to minimize fears and maximize confidence in my ability to handle life pop-ups that I would not still be wearing this earth suit.
One of the biggest fears that haunts us, particularly when the sun goes down and interior shadows slither in the mind, is the fear of failure.
Yes, it is subjective and yet very inclusive. It’s goal is to minimize your inner remembrance that you have gone through difficult times before and that you can do it again.
One of the activities I did when I was going through advanced cancer and divorce at the same time was to research people that have overcome incredible odds in life. People who are very familiar with failure and yet did not allow it to define what they knew deep down inside that they could move through successfully.
One life in particular had a huge impact on my attitude and choice to flip out of seeing situations as problems or failures into opportunities for growth and situations that require my attention for solution is Viktor Frankl who survived the concentration camps. He for sure did not let his circumstance be the boss of him and as a result survived and went on to inspire millions.
Turn your “failure” or problem into an opportunity to impact the world…your world first then the lives entrusted to your care for a greater good. As Jesus said, love your neighbor as yourself.
Perhaps we can pull that into: move through undesirable outcomes (failure) so that you are equipped to help others do the same.
Shift your relationship with what you define as failure and help others do the same.
You don’t see many young children learning how to walk beat themselves up each time they fall…quiet the contrary, you witness determination at its best as the child presses on towards the goal that far outweighs the momentary setbacks.
You did this when you were very young, you simply forgot what it feels like to have the kind of determination that minimizes “failure” and maximizes focus and determination: It’s not rejection it’s just direction.
Cool thing is you can re-learn this ability.
Take Action:
Brain Training for Problem Solving
Anxiety is simply a signal within your body that gives you the opportunity to identify and adjust your perception of a situation and your behavior.
Failure in life is simply a way of describing an outcome in life that you did not want. Consider it as feedback, helpful corrections, an opportunity for learning and growth. (Failure vs. Feedback).
NLP: Neuro – Linguistic Programming: A shift in focus.
Write out a situation or circumstance or perception in your life that you feel is a “problem”.
(How vs Why) Then ask yourself a few questions that will help you reconnect to the truth that you have the power to change your perception of any situation and your behavior. Ask “How” questions versus “Why” questions. How questions will give you get an understanding of the structure of the problem. Let go of your need to know “Why” things happen as they do, you will stay stuck in justifications and reasons without changing anything. Ask yourself solution focused questions throughout your daily life. Begin your day asking yourself to say 3 things that you are looking forward to; at night ask yourself things you achieved today. Remember whatever you focus on grows BIGGER quickly. It’s your choice, you simply forget.
A few questions to help you identify and then adjust your perception of a situation:
- What is the secondary gain for you in this problem? The upside to holding onto it?
- What would need to happen for you to feel this problem is solved?
- How will you know it is solved?
- When was a time when this problem was not so bad for you?
- What was happening at that time? What were you doing differently?
- The Miracle Question (Chevalier 1995): “Suppose one night there is a miracle while you are sleeping, and this problem is solved. Since you are sleeping, you don’t know that a miracle has happened or that your problem is solved. What do you suppose will let you know the problem is solved? What would other people around you notice was different about you? What would it take to pretend this miracle had happened?”
(Curiosity and Fascination vs Assumptions) Children learn very quickly because of their spirit of curiosity. When you assume you close doors to creative thinking and solutions, when you are curious you open all doors, all possibilities, a true “thinking out of the box” experience.
YOU CHOOSE YOUR FOCUS: Know this, whatever you focus on grows bigger quickly. You forget you have the ability to choose moment to moment. Focus on what is working out for you vs what is not. Move toward what you want vs what you don’t want.
Write down 1 behavior this week that will have a positive impact on your business (IOB), commit to doing this behavior: when, where, what, with whom.
Support Resources:
Stress Solutions for the Soul Audio Lessons
5 Minutes to Stress Relief…How to Release Fear, Doubt & Worry
