Mind Reading Can Muck Up Communication
Effective communication is in direct relationship to systems that support understanding and the ability to see ideas, information and experiences from another person’s point of view without judgement and the need to control. Giving another human being the space to be who they are with their unique experience, beliefs and insights they have gained on their journey of life, allows for growth and opportunity to create collaboratively.
When we assume or expect that another person should see things the way we see things along with jumping to conclusions based on our assumptions we twist our ability to step into effective communication (Mind Reading). Our greatest strength to connect with another person lies in our ability to ask questions which bring about a more expansive understanding around the information being transferred through the spoken word; body language; emotion and intonation.
Release your attempts at mind-reading when connecting with other people in your life. This happens when you believe you know what another person is thinking or feeling without direct communication from this person. I see you as I am not as you are so in order to see you for you it is essential that I step away from my perspectives.
Mind reading flows from our desire to connect yet too often creates disconnect because essential pieces of information are missing. Mind reading is similar to the story of the 3 blind men describing a different part of an elephant. In and of themselves, the descriptions hold truth yet the totality of the situation (the entire elephant experience) is highly compromised to each perspective.
If you act on assumptions rather than information, as is the case in mind reading, you take valuable information for granted and often times create a dis-connect. Mind reading is also a desirable choice of response in relationships when we want to avoid confrontation. Many times when we are spun by the actions of other people, it is fueled by more assumption than fact.
If you’re wondering why someone says or does something then ask for clarity rather than assuming you know why they did what they did, or said what they said. Clarity of focus leads to accuracy of response every time. Their response may not make sense with your model of the world yet it will give you the opportunity to see things from another person’s life experience and create transparent communication.
Don’t forget, your greatest teachers in this life are often times those who push your buttons. Replace your assumptions and expectations that walk hand in hand with mind reading, with curiosity and fascination: hmmm, that’s interesting I wonder what they are thinking about that or why they made that choice of response? When in doubt, ask for clarity. When you ask, increase your confidence in your ability to be able to handle successfully what might be uncovered. This is earth school and each relationship is filled with numerous small lessons and invitations for growth and learning. Replace your attempts at mind reading with questions that lead to greater clarity of understanding: clarity of focus leads to accuracy of response.
One of my daily prayers is this: “Dear God grant me the grace to pass today’s test in earth school so that at the sunset of this life I will have learned what I signed up to learn during this amazing journey of life.”
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