Afraid to Fail? Stop it!
Afraid to fail? Stop it! If you want something to die what do you do? Starve it.
As you have heard me say before, fear is a big fat liar…it’s smoke and mirrors and will try to knock you out in the ring of life on a daily basis if you do not get a grip on the power you give to outside circumstances to define what YOU believe you are capable of handling successfully.
As you have heard me say before, fear is a big fat liar…it’s smoke and mirrors and will try to knock you out in the ring of life on a daily basis if you do not get a grip on the power you give to outside circumstances to define what YOU believe you are capable of handling successfully.
As you have heard me say before, fear is a big fat liar…it’s smoke and mirrors and will try to knock you out in the ring of life on a daily basis if you do not get a grip on the power you give to outside circumstances to define what YOU believe you are capable of handling successfully.
I am pretty confident, having had a personal encounter with stress anddisease, that if I didn’t learn a mind skill to minimize fears andmaximize confidence in my ability to handle life pop-ups that I would not stillbe wearing this earth suit.
One of the biggest fears that haunts us, particularly when the sun goesdown and interior shadows slither in the mind, is the fear of failure.
Yes, it is subjective and yet very inclusive. It’s goal is tominimize your inner remembrance that you have gone through difficult timesbefore and that you can do it again.
One of the activities I did when I was going through advanced cancer anddivorce at the same time was to research people that have overcomeincredible odds in life. People who are very familiar with failure and yet didnot allow it to define what they knew deep down inside that they could movethrough successfully.
One life in particular had a huge impact on my attitude and choice to flipout of seeing situations as problems or failures into opportunities for growthand situations that require my attention for solution isViktor Franklwho survived theconcentration camps. He for sure did not let his circumstance be the boss ofhim and as a result survived and went on to inspire millions.
Turn your “failure” or problem into an opportunity toimpact the world…your world first then the lives entrusted to your care for agreater good. As Jesus said, love your neighbor as yourself.
Perhaps we can pull that into: move through undesirable outcomes (failure)so that you are equipped to help others do the same.
Shift your relationship with what you define as failure and help others dothe same.
You don’t see many young children learning how to walk beat themselvesup each time they fall…quiet the contrary, you witness determination atits best as the child presses on towards the goal that far outweighs themomentary setbacks.
You did this when you were very young, you simply forgot what itfeels like to have the kind of determination that minimizes “failure”and maximizes focus and determination: It’s not rejection it’s just direction.
Cool thing is you can re-learn this ability.
Take Action:
Brain Training for Problem Solving
Anxiety is simply a signal within your body that gives youthe opportunity to identify and adjust your perception of a situation and yourbehavior.
Failure in life is simply a way of describing an outcome inlife that you did not want. Consider it as feedback, helpful corrections,an opportunity for learning and growth. (Failure vs. Feedback).
NLP: Neuro – Linguistic Programming: A shiftin focus.
Write out a situation or circumstance or perception in your life that youfeel is a “problem”.
(How vs Why)Then ask yourself a few questions that willhelp you reconnect to the truth that you have the power to change your perceptionof any situation and your behavior. Ask “How” questions versus“Why” questions. How questions will give you get an understanding of thestructure of the problem. Let go of your need to know “Why” things happenas they do, you will stay stuck in justifications and reasons without changinganything. Ask yourself solution focused questions throughout your dailylife. Begin your day asking yourself to say 3 things that you are lookingforward to; at night ask yourself things you achieved today. Rememberwhatever you focus on grows BIGGER quickly. It’s your choice, you simplyforget.
A few questions to help you identify and then adjust your perception of asituation:
- What is the secondary gain for you in this problem? The upside to holding onto it?
- What would need to happen for you to feel this problem is solved?
- How will you know it is solved?
- When was a time when this problem was not so bad for you?
- What was happening at that time? What were you doing differently?
- The Miracle Question (Chevalier 1995): “Suppose one night there is a miracle while you are sleeping, and this problem is solved. Since you are sleeping, you don’t know that a miracle has happened or that your problem is solved. What do you suppose will let you know the problem is solved? What would other people around you notice was different about you? What would it take to pretend this miracle had happened?”
(Curiosity and Fascination vs Assumptions)Children learn veryquickly because of their spirit of curiosity. When you assume you closedoors to creative thinking and solutions, when you are curious you open alldoors, all possibilities, a true “thinking out of the box” experience.
YOU CHOOSE YOUR FOCUS:Know this, whatever you focus on growsbigger quickly. You forget you have the ability to choose moment tomoment. Focus on what is working out for you vs what is not. Move towardwhat you want vs what you don’t want.
Write down 1 behavior this week that will have a positive impact on your business (IOB), commit to doing this behavior: when, where, what, with whom.
Support Resources:
Stress Solutions for the Soul Audio Lessons
5 Minutes to Stress Relief…How to Release Fear, Doubt & Worry
