Are You in Lock Down Mode?
Are You in Lock Down Mode?
I was driving in my car today and pushed the call button on my steering wheel and Siri fired back:You need to unlock your phone to make a connection.
It got me thinking, how many locks do we have on specific behaviors when it comes to making positive connections with other people?
Are you in lock down mode when it comes to:
- Being vulnerable?
- Not knowing?
- Asking for what you want?
- Saying sorry?
Being Vulnerable:Are you locked down when it comes to being vulnerable? So, it takes courage to be vulnerable. To show your soft side and risk rejection. Yet, vulnerability is the number one emotional response that creates instant connection. Why? Because authenticity walks hand in hand with vulnerability. When you choose to unlock yourself emotionally for deeper connection with other people it is incredible to watch connection expand. Try being more vulnerable in the relationships you care about this week and record the ramifications of that choice point.
Not Knowing:is a big lock that holds us back from positive connection. Studies reveal that people are afraid to admit that they don’t know: the answer, the solutions, the response they think the other person wants to here. But, the fear of not knowing runs deep. How many nights have you laid awake trying to figure things out? Why things happened as they did OR the need toknowhow things will turn out? Can you imagine this week if you flipped back into Kindergarten mode and each time you don’t know something, you feel safe not knowing and you ask questions to know why people do and say what they do and say…through the archway of kindness and respect? We have created an adult link that says: when I know then I’m safe. Apply someEFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)around this statement:Even though I don’t know, I am willing to feel safe anyway. God is with me, I can pose questions to help me understand other people around me and release what doesn’t make sense from my perspectives.
Asking for what you want: We all experience some level of lock down in this area. When we were very young we had no problem asking for what we wanted. Now as we are “adulting” life, we shrink back from communicating our own insights, hurts and desires for fear of rejection. Unlock your child like ability to ask for what you want…in love and kindness. This ask is particularly difficult when we know what we want is different from what another person wants. Our deep seeded need for Safety and connection tend to hold us back from clear communication and we stay locked down for fear of rejection. What will it take for you this week to practice asking for what you want in a calm and confident manner?
Saying Sorry: Do you remember hearing this as a young child:say your sorry. These 3 words have created such a lock down on relationships when it comes to moving beyond the hurt caused by unkind behavior. In order to say your sorry and have it land in the heart of the one you hurt, re-read the lock of vulnerability above. When your sorry walks through the archway of heartfelt vulnerability, then your odds increase when it comes to the grace filled experience of forgiveness which leads to healing. Be quicker today than yesterday to own ugly behavior that hurts other people and say you’re sorry. Vulnerability requires you to unlock your heart for authentic meaningful connection to occur.
Take Action: Are You in Lock Down Mode?
- Unlock your heart, practice being vulnerable. Humility draws people close to each other…EGO driven pride locks out connection.
- Practice feeling safe not knowing, asking creative questions for clarity to avoid mind-reading and story telling.
- Ask for what you want, unlock your heart for clear and meaningful dialogue.
- Take accountability for unkind behavior and words by taking action: Say you are sorry quicker today than yesterday.
