<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</title> <atom:link href="https://laurenemiller.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://laurenemiller.com</link> <description></description> <lastBuildDate>Sat, 09 Nov 2024 01:29:22 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-US</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <generator>https://wordpress.org/?v=5.5.15</generator> <item> <title>How to Be Secure in the Midst of Uncertainty</title> <link>https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-be-secure-in-the-midst-of-uncertainty/</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[laurenemiller7@gmail.com]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 09 Nov 2024 01:23:54 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[self confidence]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://laurenemiller.com/?p=5863</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>How to Be Secure in the Midst of Uncertainty… Coaching Question: On a scale from 1-10…10 being the highest feelings of anxiety in the midst of uncertainty in your life where do you fall?   Back in June my husband lost his job. Many times, uncertainty will crash into our lives uninvited. Perspective helps to<br /><a class="moretag" href="https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-be-secure-in-the-midst-of-uncertainty/">+ Read More</a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-be-secure-in-the-midst-of-uncertainty/">How to Be Secure in the Midst of Uncertainty</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<div id="attachment_5343" style="width: 310px" class="wp-caption alignnone"><img aria-describedby="caption-attachment-5343" loading="lazy" class="size-medium wp-image-5343" src="https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Circumstance-300x184.jpg" alt="Girl lying on grass relaxing" width="300" height="184" srcset="https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Circumstance-300x184.jpg 300w, https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Circumstance.jpg 420w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /><p id="caption-attachment-5343" class="wp-caption-text">Don’t give your circumstance the power to define your identity, value & identity.</p></div> <p><strong>How to Be Secure in the Midst of Uncertainty…</strong><br /> <strong><em>Coaching Question: </em></strong><em>On a scale from 1-10…10 being the highest feelings of anxiety in the midst of uncertainty in your life where do you fall? </em></p> <p> </p> <p>Back in June my husband lost his job. Many times, uncertainty will crash into our lives uninvited. Perspective helps to alleviate uncertainty. When you find yourself face to face with uncertain circumstances, you always have a choice of focus. You can focus on fear or faith. You can focus on the elements that are contributing to uncertainty in your life and give them authority to define what you believe you are capable of handling OR you can focus on faith driven perspectives like: I’ve faced uncertainty before, and God gave me the grace and strength to move through it to the other side.</p> <p> </p> <p>When I was faced with advanced cancer one week prior to my final divorce court date I had no idea how much this experience would offer me perspective in life when hit with future uncertain circumstances. Too often we tend to create tunnel vision, focusing on the uncertainty, which prevents us from tuning into past success stories from our timeline when God granted us the wisdom, strength, peace and guidance to move through challenging times.</p> <p> </p> <p>Let’s face it, there are plenty triggers all around these days that easily toss you into the fog, you can’t see where you are going, what’s around the corner or how things will turn out. Are you feeling uncertainty taking up residence between your two ears?</p> <p> </p> <p>When you are uncertain you are not confident or don’t feel you can rely on something. What is that “something” for you today? Your health? Finances? Relationships? Your Career? Those in leadership positions that directly impact your sense of wellbeing?</p> <p> </p> <p>Let’s nail it down for you today and explore how to keep moving forward on the windy roads of uncertainty. I will often reference the act of quarantining your thoughts that hijack your confidence when I work with clients as quickly as possible.</p> <p> </p> <p>There are several tools to help you get the uncertainty out of your mind, below are just a few for you to explore:</p> <ol> <li><strong>Stressor/Action Sheet:</strong> Take a piece of paper fold it in half length wise. Or draw a T chart (a large capital T that divides your piece of paper in half). On the top left side write: Stressor. On the top right side write: Action. As soon as you identify that “something” that is triggering uncertainty, the feeling that you can’t rely on it, write it down under the Stressor.<br /> Next, brainstorm an action step you can take to move in a positive direction. For example, let’s say you are stressed about the thought of losing your job which is igniting feelings of uncertainty and releasing stress in your body. Get it out of your head ASAP and write it down on the paper.<br /> Next explore your available resources that support you. An example of an action that you could take would be to connect or reconnect with other individuals who are in your industry and explore potential back up plans if you have observable data that supports your stressor of possibly losing your job. You can also write down next to the stressor similar situations from your past that God has led you through successfully. For example: Lord, you got me through__________________(put in the uncertain circumstance) before and I have faith you will do it again.</li> <li><strong>Resist the urge to make assumptions and conclusions.</strong> Commit to focusing on observable data. Avoid mind-reading and fortune telling: <em>I just know they are going to force me out of my job. </em>Do you know that for sure? Push back on those thoughts that exist outside of observable data. If someone who is in the power position to let you go and they said: “Hey, your job is on the line.” Then you can act on that observable data. Don’t create the drama and cast yourself as the main character. Get off the stage and camp on the observable data.</li> <li><strong>Erase and Replace:</strong> Erase the negative catastrophizing thoughts that are linked to uncertainty and replace them with what you are certain about in your life. The definition of certain is: <em>know for sure; established beyond doubt, having complete conviction about something, confident.</em> What do you know for sure, despite the uncertainty? What is established beyond doubt in your life? What do you have complete conviction about? When was a time in your life you felt uncertain about something?<br /> You re-established confidence when you focus on what you know to be true about yourself, your life, your relationship with others, your talents and abilities. “I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13</li> </ol> <p>I’ll pull back the curtain of vulnerability a bit and share a time of uncertainty within my own life. Back in 2006 I was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer one week prior to my final divorce court date, with 3 young children. I didn’t drink, smoke or eat unhealthy foods and yet my body was dying. The link between stress and disease is growing with each decade.</p> <p> </p> <p>A landmark study out of the University of London concluded that stress is more of a contributing factor to cancer and heart disease than cigarette smoking or high cholesterol foods. In less than a two-year period of time I went through a divorce, double mastectomy, 16 chemotherapy treatments, an additional year of experimental chemotherapy, 6 weeks of daily radiation, 14 surgeries due to third degree burns from the radiation/chemo combination they had to graphed my back onto my front, so I really don’t know if I’m coming or going these days and a MRSA staph infection that kept me in the ICU for a week.</p> <p> </p> <p>Is there something in your life that is a constant source of uncertainty? It got to the point where I knew that if I didn’t take every thought captive for life and healing that the battle would rage within my body and perhaps overcome me. One phrase I used daily when the fear of uncertainty gripped me was: “God has empowered me to do difficult things before and I can do it again.”</p> <p> </p> <p>To keep my mind in the moment I would say: “Be here now, you lack nothing in the present moment. God exists here and now along with His strength and grace.”</p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Take Action:</strong></p> <p> </p> <p>I invite you to explore coming up with a battle cry as you run towards enemy lines. The unknown thing which you feel is bigger than your strength to handle it successfully. What is your battle cry that you will declare as you run into the storm, drive on the foggy road into the unknown? Mine was “God is within me, I will not fall.” Psalm 46:5 ____________________________________________________</p> <p>I still declare a scripture battle cry when the uncertainty serpent slithers in and robs me of my God given ability to remember: “I’ve walked through the eye of the storm before and I can do it again with His strength.” I would also declare my desired state of being in the form of a gratitude prayer, feel free to make this your own with your own situation that fuels uncertainty: Thank You God My Healing, down to the cellular level!</p> <p> </p> <p>The doctors were trying to get me 5 more years of life back in 2006. I beat the odds and you can too.</p> <p> </p> <p>Remember, stress is the power you give to outside circumstances to define what you believe you are capable of handling successfully. Resist the urge to give more authority to your circumstance than to your inner ability to handle it with the strength of God within you successfully. Raise the bar today and declare your battle cry towards victory over uncertainty. You are not alone in your struggle; all things are possible for those who believe (Jesus).</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-be-secure-in-the-midst-of-uncertainty/">How to Be Secure in the Midst of Uncertainty</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title>Check Out 5 Easy Ways to Simplify Your Life</title> <link>https://laurenemiller.com/check-out-5-easy-ways-to-simplify-your-life/</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[laurenemiller7@gmail.com]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 05 Sep 2024 18:45:37 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[how to]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relief from stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[tips]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://laurenemiller.com/?p=5859</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Paperback and Kindle Available NOW Click Here NOW AVAILABLE ON AUDIBLE 5 Easy Ways You Can Simplify Your Life Coaching Question: Are you hijacked these days by the hustle? How do you know you’re hijacked? …the things you value most begin to take a backseat. What’s the upside for you when it comes to the<br /><a class="moretag" href="https://laurenemiller.com/check-out-5-easy-ways-to-simplify-your-life/">+ Read More</a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/check-out-5-easy-ways-to-simplify-your-life/">Check Out 5 Easy Ways to Simplify Your Life</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-5830" src="https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Stress2024-cover_front-web-188x300.jpg" alt="" width="188" height="300" srcset="https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Stress2024-cover_front-web-188x300.jpg 188w, https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/Stress2024-cover_front-web.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 188px) 100vw, 188px" /></p> <div class="about_topbook"><a href="https://amzn.to/2D1Zb6P">Paperback and Kindle Available NOW Click Here</a></div> <div><a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/99-Things-You-Want-to-Know-Before-Stressing-Out-Audiobook/B0BTQW4W2K">NOW AVAILABLE ON AUDIBLE </a></div> <p><strong><em>5 Easy Ways You Can Simplify Your Life<br /> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Coaching Question: </em></strong>Are you hijacked these days by the hustle? How do you know you’re hijacked? …the things you value most begin to take a backseat.</p> <p>What’s the upside for you when it comes to the hustle in life? What do you get from that? A sense of purpose? Significance? “When I’m hustling about, I feel important, I’m busy getting things done” …so that? “So that I’ll be able to do I really want to do: exercise, meditate, get a good night of sleep, read a book, spend time with the people I love and care about, get outside, enjoy the moments.” The problem with connecting your hustle to your desire to do what you really want to do is that too often than not, you never get there. Hustle gets replaced with more hustle. Your identity gets hijacked by your to-do list.</p> <p>“When I am what I do, when I don’t, I’m not.”<br /> – Wayne Dyer</p> <p>You are the gatekeeper when it comes to halting the hustle behaviors that are robbing you of simplicity which gives room for authentic joy and refreshment. Stop it.</p> <p>When the doctors told me they were trying to get me 5 more years of life at 38 years old with 3 young children, the hustle was halted for me, my business, my life being important, my full calendar of essential to do items and meeting…all of it came to a screeching halt. I was forced to stop and in the midst of it all, something magical started to happen, the wonderment of life started to sprout through the concrete of what I thought was essential and important in life.</p> <p>Don’t wait until your life is halted for you before you choose to step in and resurrect the simplicity of enjoying the moment of life in front of your face.</p> <p>There is no moment of life that occurs outside the present moment.</p> <p>As soon as we start to think outside of the moment at hand, we lose something very essential to our sense of wonderment: the sweet spot of our next breath which activates the part of our brain that triggers creative solutions. Stress goes down quickly when the mind is fully present to the task at hand. Jesus taught us to embrace the present moment when He said: “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?” Luke 12:25-31 and again when He taught us how to pray: Give us this day our DAILY bread (not tomorrow’s bread or yesterday’s bread) Matthew 6:11.</p> <p>Below are five ways you can simplify your life:</p> <ol> <li>Stop and intentionally make time for the people you care about in life. Simplify it: text or email one co-worker a day a few words of appreciation. Your greatest sense of purpose is in direct proportion to your ability to show up and encourage people around you.</li> <li>Rather than using social media to post what you think about this or that situation, use it to send simple messages of encouragement and inspiration. Reduce the time spent on those platforms in order to recover time to spend appreciating the life in front of your face.</li> <li>Intentionally look for the beauty in life: people laughing, children playing, sunsets, random acts of kindness. Be the one who intentionally creates beauty: laugh more, hum, whistle, sing. Each of those activities actually reduces the stress hormone in your body.</li> <li>As you are creating your to-do list for the week. Inject time for personal refreshment. Simplify it: 3 times during the day I will get up and go outside, declare 3 things I am grateful for and breathe deeply for 1-3 minutes. Be creative.</li> <li>Simplify your mind by intentionally participating in a negativity fast. It takes 3 positive thoughts to override the damage in our minds from 1 negative thought. Stop complaining. Complaining actually shrinks your brain, whether you are the one complaining or you hang out with people who complain. Simplify your life and surround yourself with people who speak into the possible and who practice grateful living. “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.”Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.Be very careful what you think because your body is listening. As you Intentionally seek to create moments of simplicity, calm and presence will result in inner peace along with an ability to discern what is essential and what is non-essential. Meditate on what is good, true, beautiful, excellent and praiseworthy more today than yesterday.” Philippians 2:14-16</li> </ol> <p>Support Resources to Help Give You Victory over Stress in Life:</p> <ol> <li>Now available: Edge God In Podcast: <a href="https://edgegodin.com/set-ground-rules-and-boundaries-with-god-to-build-your-inner-game/">Set Ground Rules & Boundaries with God to Build Your Inner Game</a></li> <li><a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/5-Minutes-to-Stress-Relief-Audiobook/B0C66J51KT?source_code=GPAGBSH0508140001&ipRedirectOverride=true&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3ZayBhDRARIsAPWzx8oz2SkOFiP5SULenZn3Fvg5NDd2fjfIXKLw0rpCkkuiyZCsmFodJV4aAkKUEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds">5 Minutes to Stress Relief: (book and audio available) How to Release Fear, Worry, and Doubt….instantly.</a></li> <li>Take a 6 Week Journey and become the boss of your thoughts: <a href="https://EmotionalIntelligenceinChrist.com">Emotional Intelligence in Christ 6 Week Study Guide</a></li> </ol> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/check-out-5-easy-ways-to-simplify-your-life/">Check Out 5 Easy Ways to Simplify Your Life</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title>How To Recover When you Feel Misunderstood</title> <link>https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-recover-when-you-feel-misunderstood/</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[laurenemiller7@gmail.com]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 27 Jun 2024 00:47:32 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[how to]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://laurenemiller.com/?p=5855</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>  How to Recover when You Feel Misunderstood Coaching Question: When was the last time you felt misunderstood? What was real and what was imagined? One of my favorite take-aways from my master’s program in Adult Education/Human Resources Development was The Ladder of Inference, created by Harvard Professor Chris Argyris. It is a well<br /><a class="moretag" href="https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-recover-when-you-feel-misunderstood/">+ Read More</a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-recover-when-you-feel-misunderstood/">How To Recover When you Feel Misunderstood</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img loading="lazy" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-4722" src="https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/stressed-out-take-back-power-300x200.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" srcset="https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/stressed-out-take-back-power-300x200.jpg 300w, https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/stressed-out-take-back-power-768x512.jpg 768w, https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/01/stressed-out-take-back-power.jpg 1013w" sizes="(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px" /></p> <p> </p> <p><strong><em>How to Recover when You Feel Misunderstood<br /> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Coaching Question: When was the last time you felt misunderstood? What was real and what was imagined?</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>One of my favorite take-aways from my master’s program in Adult Education/Human Resources Development was The Ladder of Inference, created by Harvard Professor Chris Argyris. It is a well laid out visual that shows what happens when you get hijacked into negative emotions that create misunderstandings. </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>We have explored in previous blogs, two questions to ask yourself when you are spun: Is this real or is this imagined? Is this mine or is this someone else’s. Jesus was a big fan of keeping watch on the mind as was the Apostle Paul: “Do not conform to this world BUT be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:1-2. When we don’t watch the stories, we are telling ourselves, we quickly spill into the back part of the brain which produces only 3 reactive choices: fight, flight or freeze. Cool thing is YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE as to how you want to respond to circumstances outside of you. </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>This ladder contains seven steps from what we see to what we do about it.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>An inference is a conclusion reached based on evidence and reasoning. Too often when our emotions get caught between the observable data and our conclusions about that data, several unwelcome guests take up free rent between our two ears: filters, assumptions, conclusions and false beliefs.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>These unwelcome tenants often create the reactive response of mindreading, fortune telling, catastrophizing, all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization and/or selective attention. Take a moment and look at the above reactive responses: where do you go when you feel misunderstood? What unwelcome tenant frequents your mind? Do you have a go-to? Clarity of focus leads to accuracy of response.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Neuroscience refers to these reactive responses as bottom up thinking and produce only three choice points of response to a situation: fight, flight or freeze.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Can you imagine waking up tomorrow morning and miraculously during the night you were given the ability to separate observable data from the following steps that Professor Chris Argyris put into a ladder format?</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Observable data is the first step on the Ladder of Inference, followed by:</em></strong></p> <ul> <li><strong><em>Filters: your knowledge, experience and values that influence how you listen think and communicate (Source: Sherpa Executive Coaching).</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Assign Meaning: based on the content you filtered out; you are left with the meaning you make from what is left.</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Assumptions: thoughts you come up with not based on the facts. You create the story.</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Conclusions: blurring the lines between fact and story based on your filters and assumptions. Some behaviors that often accompany conclusions may be: stone walling, blaming, complaining, justifying, defensiveness, ugly talk.</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Beliefs: based upon how you run up your ladder via your filters, assumptions and the conclusions you make based on that intel you create beliefs. A belief about yourself, a situation, person or outcome. The beliefs you hold can directly impact your filters (selected data).</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Actions: Last but not least, you take action based the other five steps. This is the top of your ladder. The actions you take can directly impact the observable data. In neurolinguistic programming (NLP) we refer to three possibilities that can occur at this point: distorting, deleting or generalizing the observable data to back up your view of reality.</em></strong></li> </ul> <p><strong><em>One of the top qualities commonly associated with highly effective leaders (anytime you can influence another human being you are leading) is impulse control. The ability to pause, breathe and maintain executive thinking during undesirable situations before acting.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>It’s the ability to stay at the bottom of the ladder without getting spun up to the top. It’s being centered and objective to see what’s really going on around you, listening to understand rather than to be understood.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Being able to separate fact from rumor, opinion or gossip, commonly referred to as the FROG effect.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>What kind of leader are you when it comes to impulse control? Which step on the Ladder of Inference do you relate to the most? The least? What action step do you want to commit to today based on what you have learned? Perhaps it will be to observe what triggers in your life result in climbing the Ladder of Inference.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Our goal today is to up your game when it comes to your ability to reach conclusions based on evidence and reasoning rather than filters, assumptions and the conclusions made from those steps which end up resulting in action that fuels misunderstandings.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>TAKE ACTION:</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>In </em></strong><a href="https://laurenemiller.com/corporate-coaching/"><strong><em>Sherpa Executive Coaching </em></strong></a><strong><em>we use a tool called Weakness Mountain that fits nicely with what you discover about yourself when it comes to the Ladder of Inference.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>There are four phases to Weakness Mountain:</em></strong></p> <ol> <li><strong><em>Acknowledge: an aspect of your filters is an opinion which can quickly turn into a judgement and spill over into a negative behavior. Think about a behavior of yours that has a negative impact on your professional relationships.</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Observe: when this behavior is triggered</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Change: Offer a change behavior that will help you stay in observable data. Rather than mind-reading ask the person for clarity.</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Evaluate: Is the change behavior working for you? If not re-evaluate and choose another behavior. For example, you might list all of the observable data around a situation at hand. This will offer you a fuller model of reality when you feel misunderstood. </em></strong></li> </ol> <p><strong><em>An excellent </em></strong><a href="https://ed.ted.com/lessons/rethinking-thinking-trevor-maber#watch"><strong><em>TedEd talk</em></strong></a><strong><em> by Trevor Maber will give you the opportunity to see the Ladder of Inference in action.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Once you observe what happens in your mind, you can then become the boss of your ladder moving forward. You will begin to intentionally stay in the observable data knowing that all kinds of drama will occur when you start to climb the ladder.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>This tool is a game changer when it comes to your ability to create clear conversations based upon different assumptions. Now moving forward, it will help you avoid misunderstandings.</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Below is a summary of the five steps to short circuit your ladder referenced by Trevor in his TedEd talk:</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <ol> <li><strong><em>Breathe</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Ask yourself: What beliefs are at play?</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>What data and observations did you filter out because of your beliefs and why?</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Are your assumptions supported by facts?</em></strong></li> <li><strong><em>Would a different set of assumptions create different feelings? Result in new and better conclusions and actions.</em></strong></li> </ol> <p><strong><em>“Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come! but woe to that man by whom the offense comes.” Matthew 18:17</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>“Love bears all things, believes all things, endures all things.” </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>1 Corinthians 13:5</em></strong></p> <p><strong><em> </em></strong></p> <p><strong><em>Support Resources to Help Give You Victory over Stress in Life:</em></strong></p> <ol> <li><strong><em>Now available: Edge God In Podcast: </em></strong><a href="https://edgegodin.com/how-to-handle-hard/"><strong><em>How to Handle Hard</em></strong></a></li> <li><strong><em>99 Things You Want to Know Before Stressing Out! </em></strong><a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/5-Minutes-to-Stress-Relief-Audiobook/B0C66J51KT?source_code=GPAGBSH0508140001&ipRedirectOverride=true&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3ZayBhDRARIsAPWzx8oz2SkOFiP5SULenZn3Fvg5NDd2fjfIXKLw0rpCkkuiyZCsmFodJV4aAkKUEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds"><strong><em>(</em></strong></a><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Things-Want-Know-Before-Stressing/dp/099941724X/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3MTDBDTZZFXVB&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.bfoObnrbiLU8-NXQr90FHQ.8l01W6mFl7OgZkOoi3CLOE_dryLXjPH3ofiZYncDgKk&dib_tag=se&keywords=99+things+you+want+to+know+before+stressing+out&qid=1718644521&sprefix=99+things+you+want+to+know+before+stressing+ou%2Caps%2C148&sr=8-1"><strong><em>book and audio available</em></strong></a><a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/5-Minutes-to-Stress-Relief-Audiobook/B0C66J51KT?source_code=GPAGBSH0508140001&ipRedirectOverride=true&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3ZayBhDRARIsAPWzx8oz2SkOFiP5SULenZn3Fvg5NDd2fjfIXKLw0rpCkkuiyZCsmFodJV4aAkKUEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds"><strong><em>)</em></strong></a></li> </ol> <p><strong><em>Take a 6 Week Journey and become the boss of your thoughts: </em></strong><a href="https://EmotionalIntelligenceinChrist.com"><strong><em>Emotional Intelligence in Christ 6 Week Study Guide</em></strong></a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-recover-when-you-feel-misunderstood/">How To Recover When you Feel Misunderstood</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title>5 Exterior Energy Busters to Avoid</title> <link>https://laurenemiller.com/5-exterior-energy-busters-to-avoid/</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[laurenemiller7@gmail.com]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 02 Jun 2024 23:08:53 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[how to]]></category> <category><![CDATA[how to increase energy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relief from stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://laurenemiller.com/?p=5849</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>  Coaching Question: How’s your energy these days? On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the highest energy and 1 being the lowest, where do you place yourself today?   If you fall below the mid-point of 5, your energy is under attack and your productivity is paying the price.   In today’s blog you<br /><a class="moretag" href="https://laurenemiller.com/5-exterior-energy-busters-to-avoid/">+ Read More</a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/5-exterior-energy-busters-to-avoid/">5 Exterior Energy Busters to Avoid</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe title="2 Tips to Help You Protect Your Energy in the Midst of Dumpers" width="690" height="388" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/RcRBjHvdenQ?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe></p> <p> </p> <p><strong><em>Coaching Question: </em></strong><em>How’s your energy these days? On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the highest energy and 1 being the lowest, where do you place yourself today?</em></p> <p> </p> <p>If you fall below the mid-point of 5, your energy is under attack and your productivity is paying the price.</p> <p> </p> <p>In today’s blog you will explore some powerful awareness around specific energy busters that you will want to avoid along with opportunities for self-reflection when it comes to your ability to preserve your energy.</p> <p> </p> <p>In order to live beyond a block in life it’s important to first understand what that block means to you and how it specifically effects your performance. Your performance is made up of behaviors that you exhibit that have a direct impact on business.</p> <p> </p> <p>A productive day is the ramification of positive behaviors that directly or indirectly impacted your performance. In that context, let’s take a closer look at energy.</p> <p> </p> <p>Energy is your capacity for action which often rises and falls depending upon interior and exterior forces that spill over into your behavior.</p> <p>For example, let’s say you are woken up several times throughout the night to take care of your child who is going through a phase of night terrors.</p> <p> </p> <p>Regardless of what happened at night, your work day starts at 9 am and won’t end until 6 or 7 pm. As a result of exterior forces that resulted in disrupted sleep, you start your day on half a tank of energy which directly impacts your behaviors thus compromising your performance and ultimately your productivity.</p> <p> </p> <p>Your capacity for action has been hijacked by an exterior force: your child’s night terrors. The coaching question to ask yourself in this situation is simple: what do I want to do about it?</p> <p> </p> <p>Your first response might sound something like this: <em>“What do I want to do about it? I can’t do anything about it, I can’t help that my child had night terrors throughout the night and I’m now sleep deprived.”</em></p> <p> </p> <p>You’re right, you can’t do anything about the fact that your child woke up with night terrors AND you can always choose how you want to behave moving forward.</p> <p> </p> <p>When I was diagnosed with advanced cancer one week prior to my final divorce court date, I felt that I could not change the external forces coming my way AND I could always choose how I wanted to respond to it. Stress is the power you give to outside circumstance to define what you believe you are capable of handling successfully. Your energy is directly linked to how much power you give away in any given day to external forces around you.</p> <p> </p> <p>You also have another space that is either an energy leak or energy conservation: the space between your two ears. “<em>Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2</em></p> <p> </p> <p>Your thoughts are directly linked to energy conservation and renewable energy. Renewable energy is the ability to give out energy without depleting the source. When you are connected to the source of all energy, God, you are able to live beyond your means (energetically speaking). <em>“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”</em></p> <p> </p> <p>The source that we are talking about is the source of God’s presence living in and through you: your mind, will and emotions. This is the internal force that either lifts you up and out of the thickness of life circumstances or keeps you stuck and depleted (when we disconnect from God).</p> <p> </p> <p>When we know who is ultimately in charge of our lives, we are able to shift our attitudes to solution focused vs problem focused. “I can’t but God can through me.”</p> <p> </p> <p>A powerful quote by Henry Ford sums this up perfectly, “Whether you believe you can or you can’t you’re right.” Jesus declares:<em> “All things are possible for those who believe.” Mark 9:23 As the man who came to Jesus seeking healing for his possessed son said: “I believe Lord, help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24.</em></p> <p> </p> <p>God also gave us free will. This applies to thoughts as well. We can choose which thoughts to focus on. As your thoughts drop into your mind, you as the landlord of those thoughts can either evict what creates an energy leak or give free rent to what doesn’t…the choice of yours and makes all the difference in the outcomes your experience.</p> <p> </p> <p>Let’s create some clarity of focus for accuracy of response around specific energy busters that hijack your energy in life and directly impact your performance and productivity in the long haul.</p> <p> </p> <p>I say long haul because you may be able to pretend that you are ok with some of the following energy busters for a little while, yet they are shown to have a negative impact on productivity when repeated over and over during an extended period of time.</p> <p> </p> <p>We will look at exterior energy busters first and then move to the interior energy busters.</p> <p> </p> <h3><strong>5 Exterior Energy Busters</strong></h3> <ol> <li><strong>Social Media:</strong> Because of the dopamine loop nature attached to social media, stress levels actually increase resulting in fatigue of the mind and depleting your capacity for action. Do you want a productive day? Stay off of social media unless it’s your job.</li> <li><strong>Leaving Action Loops Open</strong>: An action loop involves 3 steps: Start => Do => Stop. Too often you have multiple action loops open: Start => Do/ Start => Do/ Start => Do. Too many mental jobs left in the unfinished mind space results in brain fatigue. See how many action loops you can close today. Even if it’s a long term project, intentionally decide on what part you want to start, then do it, then stop doing it and move onto the next action loop. As much as we brag about being able to multitask, science continues to reveal that it’s an energy buster. Do one thing at a time.</li> <li><strong>Interruptions</strong>: All too often we are waiting to be interrupted, particularly when we are working on a project we are not passionate about. Set healthy boundaries around your time and communicate ground rules to your direct reports, collegues and yourself. A ground rule in this case would be the best way to stay on task for you. For example: I commit to scheduling one hour each afternoon to answer high importance emails, I will turn off all electronic interruptions and notify team members of my choice to focus. Use this for mindful living as well: I commit to pausing, breathing and setting the intention before each meeting I facilitate.</li> <li><strong>Unproductive Behavior</strong>: In<a href="https://laurenemiller.com/corporate-coaching/"> Sherpa Executive Coaching</a>, we use coaching tools that address those behaviors that do not have a positive impact on business. Two of those behaviors are anger and intimidation, both of which drain your energy, your capacity for action along with your abilities to create positive connections within your organization. Other non-productive behaviors that are energy busters include: gossip, ugly talk, stone walling, taking offense (taking things personally), playing the victim and avoiding conflict. Which one do you relate to? What is the ramification of that behavior? How specifically does it drain your energy as the receiver or sender of the negative behavior? What do you want to do about it moving forward? What positive change behavior can you begin to implement instead of the negative behavior? Our goal is energy conservation. What behaviors can you do instead that make you renewable? Behaviors you can commit to where you can expend energy without depleting the source (YOU).</li> <li><strong>Bad News</strong>: When your expectations exceed reality you will experience dis-satisfaction. Bad news of any kind is an energy buster in life. Perhaps it’s a job promotion you wanted and someone else got it, a big account that did not renew or in my case, an advanced cancer diagnosis. Remember this simple truth: you can’t always control what shows up in life AND you can always control your response to it. Bad news can often times be labeled as failure. What if you committed to a talking back each time you come face to face with an undesirable outcome? An example of this practice looks like this: It’s not rejection, it’s simply direction. Flip your script and take back the power you give to exterior circumstances to define your worth, value and capability. Another phrase you can use is: this is an opportunity for learning and growth, what can I learn from this situation to make me a better leader in life? Be the boss of your expectations, don’t let your expectations become the boss of you.</li> </ol> <p>Which of the above energy busters triggered by an external force do you relate to the most? Declare a positive action step that you will commit to now moving forward.</p> <p>A huge part of mindful living offers you the opportunity to implement positive mental shifts from the problem to the solution.</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/5-exterior-energy-busters-to-avoid/">5 Exterior Energy Busters to Avoid</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title>Using NLP to Reduce Stress and Anxiety</title> <link>https://laurenemiller.com/using-nlp-to-reduce-stress-and-anxiety/</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[laurenemiller7@gmail.com]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 13 Apr 2024 21:57:55 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relief from stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress Management]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressrelieftips]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://laurenemiller.com/?p=5841</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Using NLP to Reduce Anxiety and Stress Coaching Question: What event recently evoked anxiety/stress in your life? Write it down. Next write what happened in your body specifically (my chest got tight, I had a hard time thinking, I was flushed in my face…doing this creates a degree of separation and allows you to be<br /><a class="moretag" href="https://laurenemiller.com/using-nlp-to-reduce-stress-and-anxiety/">+ Read More</a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/using-nlp-to-reduce-stress-and-anxiety/">Using NLP to Reduce Stress and Anxiety</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe title="Lauren E Miller: NLP New Behavior Generator Technique" width="690" height="388" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9UsLaF7MZTo?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" referrerpolicy="strict-origin-when-cross-origin" allowfullscreen></iframe></p> <p>Using NLP to Reduce Anxiety and Stress<br /> Coaching Question: What event recently evoked anxiety/stress in your life? Write it down. Next write what happened in your body specifically (my chest got tight, I had a hard time thinking, I was flushed in my face…doing this creates a degree of separation and allows you to be the “watcher” of the stressful trigger vs the reactor).</p> <p> </p> <p>Today we are going to look into a programming method that has been successful used to move through fear and limiting beliefs that create a lot of anxiety and stress in our lives: NLP.</p> <p> </p> <p>Anxiety is simply a signal within your body that gives you the opportunity to identify and adjust your perception of a situation and your behavior.</p> <p> </p> <p>Failure in life is simply a way of describing an outcome in life that you did not want. Consider it as feedback, helpful corrections, an opportunity for learning and growth. (Failure vs. Feedback).</p> <p> </p> <p>NLP: Neuro – Linguistic Programming: A shift in focus. Introducing NLP.</p> <ul> <li>Neuro: All behavior flows from your neurological processes of hearing, taste, smell, sight, touch…basically you experience the world through your 5 senses, you make sense of it and then act on it.</li> <li>Linguistic: You use language to order your thoughts and behavior and then to communicate. Pacing and leading leads to rapport and instant connection. Body language: 55%; Voice Tonality 38%; Words 7 %. Watch out for the writing on your wall, huge block to connection.</li> <li>Programming: The ways or methods you choose to organize your actions and ideas to create results in life.</li> <li>Outcome: Know what you want; create a clear focus of your outcome in the situation. Use visualization get all 5 senses involved (lemon exercise).</li> <li>Acuity: Keep all of your senses open so that you are acutely aware of what you’re getting. The way to do what you want to do already exists, you simply need to tune into it! Become a curious human being vs a reactive human being.</li> <li>Flexibility: “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got. If what your doing is not working…do something else”</li> </ul> <p> </p> <p>Write out a situation or circumstance or perception in your life that you feel is“problem”, one that creates anxiety/stress in your life these days:_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________</p> <p> </p> <p>(How vs Why) Then ask yourself a few questions that will help you reconnect to the truth that you have the power to change your perception of any situation and your behavior. Ask “How” questions versus “Why” questions. How questions will give you get an understanding of the structure of the problem. Let go of your need to know “Why” things happen as they do, you will stay stuck in justifications and reasons without changing anything. Ask yourself solution focused questions throughout your daily life. Begin your day asking yourself to say 3 things that you are looking forward to; at night ask yourself things you achieved today. Remember whatever you focus on grows BIGGER quickly! It’s your choice, you simply forget.</p> <p>A few questions to help you identify and then adjust your perception of a situation:</p> <ul> <li>What is the secondary gain for you in this problem? The upside to holding onto it?</li> <li>What would need to happen for you to feel this problem is solved?</li> <li>How will you know it is solved?</li> <li>When was a time when this problem was not so bad for you?</li> <li>What was happening at that time? What were you doing differently?</li> <li>The Miracle Question (Chevalier 1995): “Suppose one night there is a miracle while you are sleeping, and this problem is solved. Since you are sleeping, you don’t know that a miracle has happened or that your problem is solved. What would you suppose will let you know the problem is solved? What would other people around you notice was different about you? What would it take to pretend this miracle had happened?</li> </ul> <p> </p> <p>(Curiosity and Fascination vs Assumptions) Children learn very quickly because of their spirit of curiosity. When you assume you close doors to creative thinking and solutions, when you are curious you open all doors, all possibilities, a true “thinking out of the box” experience.</p> <p> </p> <p>YOU CHOOSE YOUR FOCUS: Know this, whatever you focus on grows bigger quickly! You forget you have the ability to choose moment to moment. Focus on what is working out for you vs what is not! Move toward what you want vs what you don’t want.</p> <p> </p> <p><a href="https://emotionalintelligenceinchrist.com/">Emotional Intelligence in Christ</a> (EIC) Thought: Insecurity in life occurs when we place our security in anything but God. Our identity and our sense of security lies in the One who created us. When we start to look outside of ourselves for that which can only be experienced within (a sense of purpose and meaning) we become vulnerable to stress and anxiety. Take a 6 week journey back to inner confidence and freedom with God.</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/using-nlp-to-reduce-stress-and-anxiety/">Using NLP to Reduce Stress and Anxiety</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title>Illegal Behavior You Want to Avoid in Your Relationships</title> <link>https://laurenemiller.com/illegal-behavior-you-want-to-avoid-in-your-relationships/</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[laurenemiller7@gmail.com]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 02 Mar 2024 00:22:52 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress Management]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://laurenemiller.com/?p=5838</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>3 Minute Lesson: A Bridge to Rapport Click Below Illegal Behavior You Want to Avoid in Your Relationships: As we are coming up on the Super Bowl, consider how many times the yellow flags are thrown in one game. Sometimes there are yellow flags we wish had been thrown for a clearly seen illegal move<br /><a class="moretag" href="https://laurenemiller.com/illegal-behavior-you-want-to-avoid-in-your-relationships/">+ Read More</a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/illegal-behavior-you-want-to-avoid-in-your-relationships/">Illegal Behavior You Want to Avoid in Your Relationships</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><em>3 Minute Lesson: A Bridge to Rapport Click Below</em></p> <p><iframe title="How to Cultivate Healthy Relationships Day19 a bridge to rapport" width="690" height="388" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/7FCL44V2IE8?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe></p> <p>Illegal Behavior You Want to Avoid in Your Relationships:<br /> As we are coming up on the Super Bowl, consider how many times the yellow flags are thrown in one game. Sometimes there are yellow flags we wish had been thrown for a clearly seen illegal move on the field. Just as with any established sport, rules are created with the purpose of maintaining sportsman like conduct; supporting a healthy structure; bringing honor; safety and respect to the sport. So too, relationships require rules and regulations which support healthy connection.</p> <p> </p> <p>Can you imagine having a referee jump in some of your heated discussions, blowing the whistle and throwing a yellow flag:</p> <p>“15-yard penalty for unsportsmanlike conduct!”</p> <p>How many times in the relationships you care about have you pulled an illegal move? Do you ever metaphorically grab the face-mask of someone you care about? A word, behavior or action, which does not support healthy connection and contradicts your ultimate desire to relate? Surely those penalized for face-mask moves on the field don’t intentionally set out to do so yet in the heat of the moment they end up sabotaging their ultimate goal due to ugly behavior<br /> Perhaps you are tired, overwhelmed; hungry; angry, sick or whatever the fuel is in the emotional animal planet moment, remember you are the gate keeper of what comes out of your mouth, what you think about in your mind and your choice of response.<br /> 3 illegal moves, unsportsmanlike conduct you want to avoid in relationships you care about:</p> <p> </p> <ol> <li>You Always or You Never Statements: these are universal quantifying conclusions, which generalize a specific behavior allowing no room for identifying behavior which contradicts the generalization. For example: you never listen to me. Really? Never ever? This kind of illegal move programs the brain to delete any positive behavior, which would contradict the undesired behavior there by in-prisoning your partner by your conclusion. Authentic love seeks out the best in others. Practice seeing the people in your circle of trust (personally and professionally) for who they desire to be rather than for how their behavior depicts. Is that not how you desire to be seen? Release the urge to verbalize victim statements which hold others captive to your unhealthy conclusions.</li> <li>Upping the Ante: This is a very popular illegal move in relationships which renders any good intention for sharing one’s truth null and void. When one partner is sharing a frustration, an illegal move, which sabotages healthy connection, is this: “well you do that too” or “well you do THIS.” A healthy solution which helps release the “up the ante” reactive response: choose a day of the week and commit to sitting down with the person they desire to connect with on a deeper level and share with the following rules in place: take turns sharing 1 or 2 positive observations, something you appreciate about that person specifically. Next take turns communicating a specific situation when you felt unloved; underappreciated or mis-understood (an opportunity for growth and better connection). Now the key to this vulnerable exchange lies in the ground rules. Once the person, who is sharing their vulnerable feelings, expresses their frustration and “when you did this, I felt this” statements, the person listening cannot respond for 20-30 minutes. This experience is of waiting 20-30 minutes is similar to the structure of pulling an emotionally spun player off the field to cool off and regroup. The part of your brain responsible for solution-based thinking literally shuts down when you feel threatened or attacked. This 20–30-minute chunk of time allows for any primal brain flare ups to calm down, allowing for executive thinking skills to kick in. The illegal moves of defensive behavior; ugly talk and stonewalling are kept at bay when you have this sportsmanlike conduct infrastructure established. Once you have time to reflect on the information from a place of observation rather than reactive behavior you gain the ability to choose a healthy response which honors your ultimate desire to create a bridge of connection rather than a wall of separation.</li> <li>Passive/Aggressive Antics: too often in relationships we have more than one program running at the same time, which confuses the delivery of information and those around us. Two popular programs which fuel passive/aggressive antics are “the disease to please” and “honest planet.” It looks like this: outside voice: “sure we can go out with your friends tonight” and inside feelings: “I’m exhausted and need to rest and refresh before heading into a new week.” The problem comes when we communicate messages to one another, which do not align with our truth. Too often our desire to please overrides what we are truly feeling as well as healthy self-care systems which allow us to do what we do. Passive aggressive behavior looks like this: I will communicate what I think I should say and do what I think I should do and then get resentful and angry towards you because of my choice to do what I think you want me to do. This is a huge “yellow flag” foul in relationships because the person on the receiving end has no idea how to respond. From their perspective they move forward with plans only to be confronted by ugly behavior and a passive/aggressive disposition, which completely contradicts their partners initial willingness to participate.</li> </ol> <p> </p> <p>Action: Reflect on the 3 illegal moves listed above. Which one do you use on the field of your relationships? What do you want to do differently the next time you feel the urge to step into that illegal move? Remember what you want for yourself, the relationship and the outcome before you step onto the field of communication.</p> <p> </p> <p>“Live in peace with each other…Encourage the disheartened, help with weak, BE PATIENT with everyone. Make sure nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else…the One who calls you is faithful and He will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:13-15, 24</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/illegal-behavior-you-want-to-avoid-in-your-relationships/">Illegal Behavior You Want to Avoid in Your Relationships</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title>What is That Thing That Holds You Back?</title> <link>https://laurenemiller.com/what-is-that-thing-that-holds-you-back/</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[laurenemiller7@gmail.com]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 06 Jan 2024 02:03:11 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[faith based coaching]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://laurenemiller.com/?p=5833</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Stress Relief Tips for the New Year   What is That Thing That Holds You Back?   Coaching Questions: Take a moment to reflect on your past year of life. What is that thing that held you back? What were you addicted to? Your answer is unique to your life experience. Some common addictions range from<br /><a class="moretag" href="https://laurenemiller.com/what-is-that-thing-that-holds-you-back/">+ Read More</a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/what-is-that-thing-that-holds-you-back/">What is That Thing That Holds You Back?</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Stress Relief Tips for the New Year</p> <p><iframe title="Stress Relief Tips for 2017" width="690" height="518" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/GyhrQJWDk1w?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe></p> <p> </p> <p><strong><em>What is That Thing That Holds You Back?</em></strong></p> <p> </p> <p><strong><em>Coaching Questions: </em></strong><em>Take a moment to reflect on your past year of life. What is that thing that held you back? What were you addicted to? Your answer is unique to your life experience. Some common addictions range from physical substances (alcohol, drugs, food, which often requires counsel and solid programs to override the impulse) to relationship attachments (approval, acceptance, acknowledgement, inclusion, power, popularity, fame etc.) or perhaps accomplishment through your “to-do” list to the point of overlooking what you value most? This is between you and God. Know this, when our behaviors do not align with what we value most in life stress increases. </em></p> <p> </p> <p>The wise men traveled a long way to reach the manger scene we are celebrating this weekend as we celebrate the gift of God’s Son Jesus. The wise men brought with them gifts to offer to the newborn King of Kings and Lord of Lords. What better gift to offer the Lord this Christmas than something that held us back in 2023. Something that we continued to grip ahold of and focus on more than focusing on God. <em>What is that thing for you</em>? What would you gain by laying it at the manger and trusting God to fill up the part of you that was addicted to something in the world? What would you imagine to be different if you let it go? If you left at the manger what held you back in 2023 from drawing close to God?</p> <p> </p> <p>The other morning, I was focusing on my “to-do” list and praying at the same time…<em>an odd dynamic I admit</em>. God responded crystal clear in the midst of it all:<em> Rather than focusing on what to do today focus on what to receive from Me in order to do what you do from a fuller place within your heart. </em>It stopped me in my tracks. Of course, if we focus on receiving from God what we need for the day (<em>wisdom, patience, insight, endurance, humor, discernment, peace, love, joy, kindness, self-control</em>) to do what we do and do the things we do for HIS GLORY our tendency to step into idolatry will be weakened.</p> <p> </p> <p>Sin is when we focus on and seek out the created things over the creator, it’s the first commandment (idolatry: <em>Exodus 20:3: you shall have no other God’s before me</em>). We break the first commandment each time we become addicted to things over God.</p> <p> </p> <p>Dr. Matthew Petrusek puts it this way: <em>To sin is to live for something in the world rather than for he who created the world. As St. Paul puts it, all those who abide in sin have “exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator who is blessed forever (Romans 1:25). To Be sure, such worship can include bowing before physical depictions of false gods. Yet more deeply, and more commonly, the false god we worship is both the most familiar and most tyrannical: ourselves. As St. Paul eminently puts it, “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate…I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. (Romans 7:15,19). </em></p> <p> </p> <p>Take Action:</p> <p> </p> <p>Dr. Petrusek offers two steps to healing and letting go of that thing that holds you back (<em>the addiction or attachment so to speak</em>).</p> <p> </p> <ol> <li><em>The first step to healing, rehabilitation programs teach, is to admit you have a problem. In that spirit, the book of Romans is fearlessly candid about the reality of evil in the human heart. Yet this honestly—this intervention–is not to condemn. It is to shake us awake to the possibility of redemption, the up and out of rock bottom, the antidote to self-poison: Jesus Christ. That marks the second step to healing.</em></li> <li><em>Come to believe that a greater power can save you from yourself. Or, as St. Paul writes, “The law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do.” Romans 8:2-3. Trust in this saving God, the God who both creates and redeems us in radical love. The only alternative? Save yourself. Which, any honest addict knows, is a death sentence. </em></li> </ol> <p><em>“I Am the light of the world whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.” John 8:12</em></p> <p> </p> <p><strong><em>The Chosen</em></strong><em> is a wonderful series that makes many of the accounts of Jesus when He walked the earth come to life. Start with Season One.</em></p> <p><em>Support Resources to Jump Start Your New Year:</em></p> <ol> <li><a href="https://edgegodin.com/train-up-for-victory-in-the-ring-of-spiritual-warfare/"><strong>Listen to the latest Edge God In Podcast: Train Up for Victory in The Ring of Spiritual Warfare</strong></a></li> <li><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/203579487-99-things-you-want-to-know-before-stressing-out">99 Things You Want to Know Before Stressing Out! Updated </a></li> <li>Take a 6 Week Journey and become the boss of your thoughts: <a href="https://EmotionalIntelligenceinChrist.com">Emotional Intelligence in Christ 6 Week Study Guide</a></li> </ol> <p><em>With Respect and Gratitude,</em></p> <p><a href="https://laurenemiller.com"><strong><em>Lauren </em></strong></a></p> <p><em>Trust God, Do Good</em></p> <p> </p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/what-is-that-thing-that-holds-you-back/">What is That Thing That Holds You Back?</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title>Don’t Take the Bait</title> <link>https://laurenemiller.com/dont-take-the-bait/</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[laurenemiller7@gmail.com]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 27 Nov 2023 19:36:41 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[relationship tips]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relief from stress]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://laurenemiller.com/?p=5820</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>  Don’t Take the Bait Coaching Question: What is your first reaction when someone misunderstands you?   “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11   Stress is the POWER YOU GIVE to outside circumstance to define your worth, value and what you believe you<br /><a class="moretag" href="https://laurenemiller.com/dont-take-the-bait/">+ Read More</a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/dont-take-the-bait/">Don’t Take the Bait</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p> </p> <p><img loading="lazy" class="alignnone wp-image-5824" src="https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Screen-Shot-2023-11-27-at-12.38.18-PM-271x300.png" alt="" width="329" height="364" srcset="https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Screen-Shot-2023-11-27-at-12.38.18-PM-271x300.png 271w, https://laurenemiller.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Screen-Shot-2023-11-27-at-12.38.18-PM.png 638w" sizes="(max-width: 329px) 100vw, 329px" /></p> <p><strong>Don’t Take the Bait</strong></p> <p><strong><em>Coaching Question: </em></strong><em>What is your first reaction when someone misunderstands you? </em></p> <p> </p> <p><em>“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11</em></p> <p> </p> <p>Stress is the POWER YOU GIVE to outside circumstance to define your worth, value and what you believe you are capable of handling successfully. Taking offense actually has it’s roots in <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-step-outside-opinions-lauren-e-miller-m-ed/">self focus: how and what people think of me</a>. Another phrase associated with offense is the drug of approval.</p> <p> </p> <p>Why is it to our glory to overlook an offense? Perhaps it’s because we are then able to maintain our inner peace and calm. The moment we “take the bait” our mind gets tossed into the animal planet zone, stress increases instantly in the body and nothing good comes out of that dark place. We are left with 3 reactive choices: fight, flight or freeze which result in imploding, exploding or a combination of both.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Coaching Questions: </strong></p> <p>When was the last time you took the bait? Take a moment and reflect on that situation. What behavior crashed the party uninvited? How long did it take you to recover? Looking back, what would you have wanted to do differently? Moving forward how do you want to handle similar situations?</p> <p> </p> <p>I’m currently reading a book: The Bait of Satan, by John Bevere. The word offense comes from the Greek word: skandalon which is the part of the trap that holds the bait and snaps down on the animal who takes the bait. We are that animal and we continue to take the bait even though we know how emotionally painful it is when we do. The question is, how do we resist the urge to take the bait?</p> <p> </p> <p>It starts with remembering <em>whose</em> we are, which is the first phase of <a href="https://EmotionalIntelligenceinChrist.com">Emotional Intelligence in Christ</a>. As we anchor our identity in the One who created us, we become less vulnerable to rising and falling depending upon how the world judges us at that time. Jesus Christ of Nazareth is our mentor when it comes to not taking the bait. As you read through the Gospels you will notice that Jesus was not confined by two things: <em>status and the opinions of other people.</em></p> <p> </p> <p>Our need to be acknowledged, seen, recognized, understood, appreciated and included are all fueled by the spirit of pride rooted in self focus:<em> the drug of approval hijacks our identity and our freedom</em>. Jesus lived outside of that space as He fixed His eyes on the purpose for which His heart beat: the salvation of souls. As we remember that we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10) we are less likely to take the bait and remember it’s not about us…it’s always about God’s purposes within and through us.</p> <p> </p> <p>So the next time you find yourself in a situation where you can easily take the bait start to talk back to the stress in your body: <em>Breathe, calm down, God is with me and loves me, I’m safe. What is this really about? What’s mine to own for growth? This is an opportunity to let the fruit of the spirit: self-control (2nd phase of Emotional Intelligence in Christ) take center stage. It is to my glory to overlook an offense and respond in love, gentleness and calm.</em></p> <p> </p> <p>This week, before your start each day ask the Lord for the strength to resist the urge to take the bait. Remember that you are not the opinions and behavior of other people unless you choose be. People that push our buttons are our greatest teachers because they reveal where we are stuck. When you take the bait ask the Holy Spirit to help you recover quickly. Remember you are safe; God adores you and desires to develop His character within you to set you free along with teaching you how to love others as Jesus did and does.</p> <p> </p> <p><em>“It is for Freedom that Christ has set us free. STAND FIRM AND DON’T ALLOW yourself to be burdened by the yoke of slavery. (to offense.)</em> Galatians 5:1</p> <p> </p> <p><em>Support Resources:</em></p> <ol> <li><a href="https://edgegodin.com/watch-out-for-the-bait-of-satan/"><strong>Listen to the latest Edge God In Podcast: Watch Out for the Bait of Satan</strong></a></li> </ol> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/dont-take-the-bait/">Don’t Take the Bait</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title>6 Stress Relief Tips to Take into the Holiday Season</title> <link>https://laurenemiller.com/6-stress-relief-tips-to-take-into-the-holiday-season/</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[laurenemiller7@gmail.com]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 04 Nov 2023 18:40:22 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Stress relief]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressrelieftips]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://laurenemiller.com/?p=5817</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>  6 Stress Relief Tips to Take into the Holiday Season A 20-year landmark study out of the University of London concluded that stress is more of a contributing factor to cancer and heart disease than cigarette smoking and high cholesterol food. 80% of disease is stress related according to Harvard Medical. Long term stress<br /><a class="moretag" href="https://laurenemiller.com/6-stress-relief-tips-to-take-into-the-holiday-season/">+ Read More</a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/6-stress-relief-tips-to-take-into-the-holiday-season/">6 Stress Relief Tips to Take into the Holiday Season</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe title="5 Tips for Quick Stress Relief - Lauren E. Miller, Stress Expert" width="690" height="518" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/UMjN1Fb2LwA?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe></p> <p> </p> <p>6 Stress Relief Tips to Take into the Holiday Season</p> <p>A 20-year landmark study out of the University of London concluded that stress is more of a contributing factor to cancer and heart disease than cigarette smoking and high cholesterol food.</p> <p>80% of disease is stress related according to Harvard Medical.</p> <p>Long term stress is known to intensify physical tendencies that already exist, including mental health issues like depression and personality disorders. I was diagnosed with advanced cancer at 38 years with 3 young children 1 week prior to my final divorce court date. I was experiencing profound stress because I highly value marriage. Coincidence? I don’t think so.</p> <p><strong> </strong></p> <p><strong>The Thymus Tap:</strong></p> <ul> <li>This technique is very powerful when you fear the future. It helps to realign your energy system with inner confidence. Using your fingertips lightly tap on your Thymus, located approximately 2 inches down from the lowest point in the U-shaped dip at the base of your throat. Lightly tap as you say: “I have faith and confidence in my future, my future is secure, I am secure.” Continue to repeat for 1-3 minutes</li> </ul> <p><strong>The Balls of Your Feet Bounce:</strong></p> <ul> <li>This is a great one for a SMM (Spontaneous Movement Moment) at the top of each hour during your day. Rubbing on the sore spots, the two spots located to the right and the left of the U-shaped dip in your clavicle at the base of your throat. Three inches down and over on each side you will find the sore spots. As you bounce up and down on the balls of your feet while rubbing on these spots you help with lymphatic drainage and get a quick boost of energy. Try to do this for at least 2 minutes while breathing deeply through your mouth.</li> </ul> <p><strong>More Grab & Go Stress Relief Tips:</strong></p> <ul> <li>Know what you value most in life. When your priorities are clear, decisions are easy. Stress creeps in when you forget what you value most in life. When you spend most of your energy on the “nonessentials” in life you begin to feel depleted very quickly and the stress hormone begins to double. Create moments every day that nurture what you value most in this life and notice how quickly clarity of thinking and inner peace return within your being.</li> <li>Let go of this belief: “In order to be loved and accepted I need to be perfect…have the perfect house, tree, job, car, person, family, job, credentials.” What is your inner list of requirements in order to feel loved and accepted in life? Let go of your need for certain outcomes in order for you to feel good about yourself. Happiness returns when you release the attachments you have in life in order to feel good about you. Remember, joy flows from the inside out, not the outside in…start loving yourself completely just as you are, right where you are at…if you lack it borrow it from God’s heart where the supply is limitless.</li> <li>Breathe, Breathe, Breathe. You get rid of toxins within your body with each exhale you make. Be intentional about deep breathing. If you are entertaining fear, self-doubt or worry between your two ears, imagine evicting those tenants with every exhale and breathe in life, love and confidence.</li> <li>Give yourself the gap of empowerment that comes when you become the observer of your life verses the reactor. Be a curious and fascinated human being who looks at everything before them as an opportunity for learning and growth. When one door closes, don’t waste one moment looking at that closed door, start seeking the open window. Don’t miss life, when you worry, doubt and fear; you miss the life standing right in front of your face. When you are present you will laugh more in life which has profound physiological benefits, another wonderful gift to give yourself and those around you this season. 1 minute of laughter boosts the immune system for 24 hours…even if it’s fake. When I drove to radiation every day for 6 weeks, I would fake laugh until I evoked authentic laughter to help my body heal. You can do the same.</li> </ul> <p><strong> Support Resources: Now Available on Audible</strong></p> <p><a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/5-Minutes-to-Stress-Relief-Audiobook/B0C66J51KT">5 Minutes to Stress Relief: How to Release Fear, Worry and Doubt Instantly </a></p> <p><a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/99-Things-You-Want-to-Know-Before-Stressing-Out-Audiobook/B0BTQW4W2K">99 Things You Want to Know Before Stressing Out! </a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/6-stress-relief-tips-to-take-into-the-holiday-season/">6 Stress Relief Tips to Take into the Holiday Season</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> <item> <title>How To Stop Negative Thinking</title> <link>https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-stop-negative-thinking/</link> <dc:creator><![CDATA[laurenemiller7@gmail.com]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Fri, 01 Sep 2023 19:10:11 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[faith based coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Stress relief]]></category> <category><![CDATA[stressrelieftips]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">https://laurenemiller.com/?p=5814</guid> <description><![CDATA[<p>Learning & Retention Tip: We often seek out information that will help us do two things: thrive and survive. As you read through today’s blog ask yourself: How do I want to respond to this thought? How does God want me to respond to this thought? How to Stop Negative Thinking: There are three verses<br /><a class="moretag" href="https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-stop-negative-thinking/">+ Read More</a></p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-stop-negative-thinking/">How To Stop Negative Thinking</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><iframe title="A Negativity Detox Step 1" width="690" height="388" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/uVaRcXp8MCk?feature=oembed" frameborder="0" allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share" allowfullscreen></iframe></p> <p><strong><em>Learning & Retention Tip:</em></strong><em> We often seek out information that will help us do two things: thrive and survive. As you read through today’s blog ask yourself: How do I want to respond to this thought? How does God want me to respond to this thought?</em></p> <p><strong>How to Stop Negative Thinking:</strong></p> <p>There are three verses that have repeatedly caught my attention throughout my journey of life. The first one is Romans 12:1-2: <em>“Do not conform to this world, but be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of your mind.”</em> The second, 2 Corinthians 10:5, explains <strong>how</strong> to be transformed by the renewing of your mind: <em>“Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.” </em>The third verse, Philippians 4:8, tells us <strong>what </strong>thoughts to focus on: <em>“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable.” </em></p> <p>What does this look like boots on the ground when it comes to gaining victory over negative thinking? It starts with our understanding of the purpose of the thinking brain. The primal brain’s sole responsibility is to protect us from potential threats. In fact it will hunt and gather information and create potential threats that are smoke and mirrors. This, my friends, is the playground of the devil. His entire purpose is to keep the peace of God from reigning in our hearts. His desire is to cause us to be upset and he uses the primal brain to make it happen.</p> <p>As we gain insight into how our brains work, we step into the position of the watcher of our thinking verses reacting to whatever pops into our heads. This is the position that creates the essential gap which offers us the opportunity to take our thinking captive for Christ…redirecting our thoughts to what is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely and admirable.</p> <p>One proposed idea on this topic addressing the difference between a thought and thinking about a thought (<em>Don’t Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen</em>). For example, I was hiking in the mountains last weekend with my husband and I noticed I forgot our dog leash back on the trail. My husband offered to go back and get the leash. I checked the time when he left and waiting for him to return. After 25 minutes, a thought popped into my mind: <em>it’s been 25 minutes</em>. If I had left the thought alone without thinking about it, I would have been able to maintain inner peace however, I started to think about the thought that it had been 25 minutes. SHAZAM, instantly inner peace was hijacked by panic, worry and to be honest a little PTSD fueled by thinking about my husbands heart attack that he had five months ago. My brain was doing what it’s created to do, protect me from possible harm by identifying possible threats…yet it produced mental chaos, fear, anxiety and worry. Again, the playground of the devil is in the primal part of the brain. “The devil comes to kill (our sense of safety), steal (our identity) and destroy (our inner peace).” John 10:10…Jesus comes that we might have life and have it to the full.</p> <p> </p> <p>How do we stop negative thinking? <em>Stop thinking.</em> You may experience mental push back when you read: <em>Stop thinking</em>, yet this is a practice that is laid out in the scriptures: Take every thought captive and focus your thoughts, the thinking about the thoughts is what creates the mental suffering. If you wonder about this practice, try it on this week. Begin as soon as you finish reading this blog post. Invite the Holy Spirit in to help you take every thought captive and for the ability to focus your thoughts on Christ. A thought drops in, pause, God how do you want me to respond to this thought?</p> <p> </p> <p>God speaks now, not in the past or the future, He is the great I AM. Therefore, as we remove our thinking about the thoughts that pop up in our mind we stay present to the guidance, wisdom, discernment and inner peace of the presence of God. Divine downloads come in the form of thoughts not thinking about the thoughts. For example, when Moses encountered the burning bush he had a thought to take a step closer to the bush at which point God spoke. He didn’t think about the thought: <em>“hmmm should I take a step closer, what if I get burned, what if…</em>” He responded to the thought which led to an encounter with the living God and the deliverance of God’s people. Another example is Peter stepping out of the boat to walk on water to Jesus. He saw Jesus, had a thought and verbalized it to Jesus: “<em>Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on water.</em>” Jesus invites Peter to come. Peter steps out of the boat and begins to walk on water (<em>no problem, he had the thought and responded to it as Jesus directed him)</em>. As soon as Peter began to think, he started to sink: “Peter started to think about the thought of walking on water and fear slithered in: fear of the wind, fear of the waves and he started to sink. Another thought popped in: <em>“Lord save me.”</em> Instantly Jesus reached out His hand and pulled Peter to safety.</p> <p><strong>Take Action:</strong></p> <p>When we start to think, we begin to sink. Be intentional with the Holy Spirit’s assistance, as you discern the difference between thoughts and thinking about your thoughts this week. See how many times you can stop yourself from mental turmoil simply by refusing to think about the thought. By the way, as you stop thinking about thoughts, you strengthen your mind’s ability to access thoughts at a quicker pace which results in more creativity and productivity. Why? Because you clear up mental landscape between your two ears that was hijacked by the noise of thinking about a thought rather than taking action on the thought. At times a thought may pop in your head and you discern that it is not of God as quickly as possible simply delete or use your mouth to rebuke by saying: <em>Stop! I choose to take every thought captive for the good work that God has prepared for me to do</em> (Ephesians 2:10).</p> <p>The post <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com/how-to-stop-negative-thinking/">How To Stop Negative Thinking</a> appeared first on <a rel="nofollow" href="https://laurenemiller.com">Corporate Coaching & Training by Lauren E Miller</a>.</p> ]]></content:encoded> </item> </channel> </rss>