Author Archives: Lauren

A Stress Solution for Your Soul

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  Stress Solutions for Your Soul:      Learn => Reflect => Identify & Adjust => Integrate => Act         How to Feel Secure in the Midst of Insecure Times   Learn:   If you submerge a container in water without equalizing the pressure within, the container will begin to crush the deeper you go in the water. Why? Simply put, the force on the outside is greater than the force on the inside.   In order to override the fear and anxiety fueled by the recent public shootings, our point of reference for our sense of safety and security must flow directly from our identity in Christ. There is no other source that will give us the ability to maintain inner peace and calm in the midst of chaos and darkness than the Prince of Peace and the Light of the World.   Now more than ever it is crucial for us to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Why? As a man or woman thinks, their body will follow.   Stress is the power we give to outside circumstance to define our sense of safety, worth/value and connection. … Continue reading

How to Avoid the Vice of Criticism

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                        How to Avoid the Vice of Criticism   Learn: Vice: a weakness of character or behavior; a bad habit.  Criticism: the expression of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.  Fault: an unattractive or unsatisfactory feature especially in a piece of work or in a person’s character.  Mistake: an action or judgement which is misguided or wrong.  Judgement: an opinion or conclusion. When a human being criticizes themselves or another person they put into motion a flood of neurochemicals that actually shrink the brain rendering themselves vulnerable to a negative thinking spiral.    Reflect: How much of your negative behavior towards yourself and others is fueled by a mental focus on the above words? Which definition do you most identify with when it comes to your relationship with yourself? With others? Write the word or words down with the definition from above that you recognize as frequenting your thought life. Reflect on your previous week. Tune into a moment when you were caught in the vice of criticism (a weakness of character based upon the perceived faults or mistakes of another person OR yourself). Biblically speaking, when did you pick up a stone to … Continue reading

A Negativity Detox: Step 1

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  A few weeks ago I shared 8 Habits to Detox Negativity in your life. This week let’s chunk it down and step into the first phase of this detox process. Clarity of focus leads to accuracy of response, so here we go. Let’s face it, you can’t give out to the world what you don’t take time to master within. With that said, it perfect makes sense that the first phase in a negativity detox requires high noticing around the negative elements you are allowing into your interior castle. Those tenants that you are giving free rent to who are trashing your interior world. The discovery of mirror neurons in my opinion is one of those biological wake up calls that reveals an essential element to the point of entry of negativity: our thought life which ignites our emotional state of being. An emotion is simply your body’s response to your thought life. Once you master this space and detox your mind by evicting those tenants who thrive on negativity: drama, judgment/accusation/shame, conflict, confusion, overwhelm, fear, doubt, worry you begin the cleanse and journey back to positive living. Be aware: those little serpents do not evacuate without a fight. … Continue reading

How to Outshine Darkness

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Learn: Here is a timely newsworthy topic we can all put into motion: How to Outshine the Darkness.   Your attitude is your closest friend or your worst enemy and you get to choose it daily. Depending upon your choice of attitude, a fixed mental position, you will either release proteins on your DNA that will either evoke a stress (fight, flight, freeze) response or growth and repair, a sense of confident wellbeing.   Do you remember that cute little childhood song by Harry Dixon Loes: “This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine”? Well, there is no time like the present moment to put those lyrics into action in our words, thoughts and deeds.   I once heard during a deep prayerful moment that random acts of kindness go viral in the heavenly realms. Over the past few weeks we have explored a negativity detox in our lives how about this week in light of one dark act we unleash our God given ability to shine in the midst of darkness brighter today than yesterday?   Reflect: I recently read an incredible book: The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Cron … Continue reading

Relationship Tips You Want to Know

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  Learn => Reflect => Identify & Adjust => Integrate => Act       Relationship Tips You Want to Know       Learn:   At Least: a phrase often used in an attempt to empathize yet it actually has the opposite effect. When you use this phrase in response to someone sharing a difficult experience you minimize the importance of their feelings. The statement “at least” is actually a shaming phrase. Many people use it with good intentions thinking they are offering up a possible rainbow in the midst of their storm yet it actually has the opposite effect.   For example, I recently had a drowning experience and a very well intending receiver of my traumatic story responded with: Well at least you didn’t die. This statement, along with any other “at least” statement evokes a sense of shame in the other person as if to say “hey it’s not that big of a deal” rather than validating their experience when a receiver of a sender’s story chooses to use an “at least” statement they undermine the senders experience. Watch out for this disconnecting phrase in future dialogue if your desire is to deepen connection.   The … Continue reading

8 Habits for a Negativity Detox

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8 Habits for a Negativity Detox   “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things.” Philippians 4:8….   Or not. The choice is yours and makes all the difference in the outcomes you will experience in life. I am blogging today about a topic that has swirled around in the human psyche since Adam and Eve took a bite of that darn apple. Why did they take that first bite? Because the desire for power was greater than their appreciation for the safety and pure beauty that surrounded them…Not-Enoughness.   The desire for power in life has opened the floodgates for negativity to pour into our culture faster than poop through a goose, as my Grandfather used to say. The power struggle has destroyed societies, marriages, companies, well intended non-profits, the media, reputations of our youth through bullying behaviors and at times taken lives.   The voice of Power over others says: “My reputation is not where I want it to be so I will destroy those around me to exalt myself AND I will hide in my virtual cave so … Continue reading

How To Free Up Your Emotions

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  Do You Deflect Your Emotions?   Learn & Reflect:     An emotion is your body’s response to your thought life. When you observe life objectively you clip along taking in thousands of bits of information that travel through your senses undetectable by the conscious mind. What makes the content stick? Emotion and a strong visual image.   When you experience an event in life that has a strong emotion along with a visual (it can be a visual created by your imagination as well or through an auditory experience), you create a memory. It will remain short term if you do not revisit it with your conscious mind within 48 hours.   Emotions are like leaves on a stream they sometime disappear out of our body as quickly as they appear. When I went through the experience of cancer and divorce at the same time my “earth suit” was absolutely flooded with strong emotions. When I tried to hold them back they built up inside similar to a hose that is blocked by your thumb. At times the pressure got so huge that I burst into crying fits that would last a few hours. At one point I … Continue reading

Just Let it Go!

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Just Let it Go!     Learn & Reflect:   “Just let it go” . . . a lot easier said than done eh? How can I let this go? Who will I be if I let it go? I’ve identified with this for so long I don’t feel safe embracing a new perception of me. Will I really be okay if I just “let go and let God?” Can I trust in that experience? Will I be able to handle it? What exactly does that look like? Who will I be if I release that perception, that outlook, that pain?   Again, when you give anything in life the permission to define you, you gravitate toward it, you attract more of it, and you feel safe connecting to it. So, you will actually cling to it over a healthier perception of self simply because you know yourself within it. Remember, human beings gravitate toward that which is familiar, even if the familiar is unhealthy and, often times, unsafe.   So, how do you “Let go and Let God?” How do you give yourself permission to embrace a new perception, a new direction, a new connection with you, with God, with the … Continue reading

Feel Like Your Drowning?

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Learn => Reflect => Identify & Adjust => Integrate => Act Do you feel like your drowning? Drowning is to die by submersion in and inhalation of water. Have you ever felt like you were drowning without the water experience? The pressures of life take your breath away or a sudden tragic event suffocates your ability to function?   Below is a recent experience I actually had with drowning and thankfully I am still wearing the “earth suit”. The metaphor of drowning without water is a powerful one to reflect upon in our daily life: how often do you give power to circumstance to define what you believe you are capable of handling successfully or tuning into a resource to help you move back into calm waters? As an executive/life coach I experience witnessing the metaphorical “drowning” more often than not in the lives I am blessed to facilitate healing, clarity and personal excellence within.   This week Reflect on the moments that take your breath away…in a suffocating way: Is a healthy boundary being overlooked? As quickly as possible assess your available resources along with giving more authority to the strength of God within you than to the circumstance … Continue reading

Get Your IMAGO On & Connect

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Let’s face it, relationships can be a source of a lot of stress especially when we do not have ground rules in place. Just as the yellow flag in football is used to indicate illegal conduct, so too we need an infrastructure (a process and structure) to minimize below the line behavior (stone walling, ugly talk and defensive behavior) and maximize healthy, authentic connection as we create safe conversation.   IMAGO: Get Yours On   Learn & Reflect:   IMAGO is Latin for image and is a very powerful infrastructure to build effective dialogue on. It is based on validation rather than problem solving. The theory has been around for a long time and was simplified in the book Getting the Love You Want by Hendrix and Hunt.   Similar to many energy psychology modalities, IMAGO reflects upon the images you have from childhood that create your perceptions, assumption as well as your reactions to life today. For example, if you grew up with images from your childhood that reflected a theme of: “I need to be perfect in order to be loved and accepted” or “it’s never good enough no matter how hard I try” then any type of feedback … Continue reading